Showing snippets written by marlowe.
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Jacko death an opportunity
Memo to all recording artists: This would be a very good time to release all your latest and worst tracks.
So, does anyone have any returns for the O2 concerts?
Uri's Back Baby!
Oh no, I suppose this means we're now going to have to listen to hours of interviews with Uri (I have a book coming out on him) Geller!
What I hate about aliens
Ya know what I hate most about aliens? Dribbling. Why do they all have to dribble. And it's slimy! I hate that.
Time for bad news
Memo to all ministers: This would a perfect time to put out all your 'bad news' press releases?
Miracle Reality Check
Remember while you are celebrating the so-called "miracle of Hudson River", which had nothing to do with pilot expertise, there is a flock of geese lying dead somewhere in Manhatton.
'Crap News' reports that Brian Blessed had eaten his way down from Mt Everest and is now eating Loose Women. Will no one release us from this accursed man?!
Hazel Blears may be a keen motor cyclist, and she does look groovy in her leathers, but having her hair in the shape of a helmet doesn't quite work. Just try greasing it back, Haze.
Hazel's Little Secret
Hazel Blears has got a little secret. She's not going to tell anyone what it is but just watch her face. What can it be, it certainly amuses her?
I fell getting off my high horse. Who can I sue?
Brian Blessed - Great Actor?
Brian Blessed is a crap actor. That isn't very funny but it is true. But as nothing on this site is meant to be true...Brian Blessed is a great actor. It just isn't funny, is it?
Brian Blessed Takes Acting Lessons
In a desperate bid to stem the stream of cruel abuse about his acting talent, Brian Blessed flew to Paris and had intensive and urgent acting lessons with Peter Brook. He is still a crap actor.
Kenneth Branagh Hails Brian Blessed
Kenneth Branagh has declared Brian Blessed to be the greatest actor that has ever lived (next to himself, of course). He is still a crap actor.
Brian Blessed Changes Name
Brian Blessed has changed his name to Sir Laurence Olivier. He is still a crap actor.
Brian Blessed Slims Down
Brian Blessed has slimmed down to size zero. He is still a crap actor.
Brian Blessed Regrows Beard
Brian Blessed has regrown his beard. He is still a crap actor.
Kenneth Branagh Warning
With the release of his latest Shakespeare film, the populace is warned that Kenneth Branagh may be found lurking somewhere nearby talking his usual bollocks. Try not to laugh too loudly. Just ignore him and walk away. You have been warned.
Brian Blessed Shaves Beard
Brian Blessed has shaved off his beard. He is still a crap actor.
Rap is Wrapped for Sir Minge
Inside sources at the Lib-Dem conference have revealed that Sir Minge Campbell, their sort of leader, was persuaded not to deliver his speech in rap form only minutes before he went on stage.
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