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Jacko death an opportunity

Memo to all recording artists: This would be a very good time to release all your latest and worst tracks.

written by marlowe, 26 June 2009
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Returns?

So, does anyone have any returns for the O2 concerts?

written by marlowe, 26 June 2009
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Uri's Back Baby!

Oh no, I suppose this means we're now going to have to listen to hours of interviews with Uri (I have a book coming out on him) Geller!

written by marlowe, 26 June 2009
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What I hate about aliens

Ya know what I hate most about aliens? Dribbling. Why do they all have to dribble. And it's slimy! I hate that.

written by marlowe, 25 June 2009
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Time for bad news

Memo to all ministers: This would a perfect time to put out all your 'bad news' press releases?

written by marlowe, 16 May 2009
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Miracle Reality Check

Remember while you are celebrating the so-called "miracle of Hudson River", which had nothing to do with pilot expertise, there is a flock of geese lying dead somewhere in Manhatton.

written by marlowe, 01 February 2009
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Blessed Warning

'Crap News' reports that Brian Blessed had eaten his way down from Mt Everest and is now eating Loose Women. Will no one release us from this accursed man?!

written by marlowe, 27 September 2007
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Hazel's Hair

Hazel Blears may be a keen motor cyclist, and she does look groovy in her leathers, but having her hair in the shape of a helmet doesn't quite work. Just try greasing it back, Haze.

written by marlowe, 26 September 2007
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Hazel's Little Secret

Hazel Blears has got a little secret. She's not going to tell anyone what it is but just watch her face. What can it be, it certainly amuses her?

written by marlowe, 26 September 2007
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High Horse

I fell getting off my high horse. Who can I sue?

written by marlowe, 25 September 2007
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Brian Blessed - Great Actor?

Brian Blessed is a crap actor. That isn't very funny but it is true. But as nothing on this site is meant to be true...Brian Blessed is a great actor. It just isn't funny, is it?

written by marlowe, 22 September 2007
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Brian Blessed Takes Acting Lessons

In a desperate bid to stem the stream of cruel abuse about his acting talent, Brian Blessed flew to Paris and had intensive and urgent acting lessons with Peter Brook. He is still a crap actor.

written by marlowe, 22 September 2007
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Kenneth Branagh Hails Brian Blessed

Kenneth Branagh has declared Brian Blessed to be the greatest actor that has ever lived (next to himself, of course). He is still a crap actor.

written by marlowe, 21 September 2007
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Brian Blessed Changes Name

Brian Blessed has changed his name to Sir Laurence Olivier. He is still a crap actor.

written by marlowe, 21 September 2007
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Brian Blessed Slims Down

Brian Blessed has slimmed down to size zero. He is still a crap actor.

written by marlowe, 21 September 2007
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Brian Blessed Regrows Beard

Brian Blessed has regrown his beard. He is still a crap actor.

written by marlowe, 21 September 2007
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Kenneth Branagh Warning

With the release of his latest Shakespeare film, the populace is warned that Kenneth Branagh may be found lurking somewhere nearby talking his usual bollocks. Try not to laugh too loudly. Just ignore him and walk away. You have been warned.

written by marlowe, 21 September 2007
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Brian Blessed Shaves Beard

Brian Blessed has shaved off his beard. He is still a crap actor.

written by marlowe, 21 September 2007
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Rap is Wrapped for Sir Minge

Inside sources at the Lib-Dem conference have revealed that Sir Minge Campbell, their sort of leader, was persuaded not to deliver his speech in rap form only minutes before he went on stage.

written by marlowe, 20 September 2007
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