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Hynde: shock new single
Chrissie Hynde has shocked fans by annoucing her next single is to be called: 'Dirty Crack Whore.'
Goebbels Wins Nazi Poll
Dr Joesph Goebbels is world's favourite Nazi, according to a new poll. One fan of Goebbels, who beat Henrich Himmler in a close contest, said: 'He murdered his entire family - and that's pure class.'
Tunnel Entrance Modelled on Star's Growler
The new owners of the Channel Tunnel are to redesign the British entrance in the shape of Stevie Nicks' vagina. The 40 ton relief will feature an fully illuminated clitoris.
Blair: dramatic break-out
Tony Blair has broken out of Gordon Brown's cellar and says he will hold John Prescott hostage until the Labour Party allow him to campaign in the election.
Stevie Nicks visitor attraction
Fleetwood Mac star Stevie Nicks is to open her vagina as a tourist attraction. Her refurbished snatch features a snack bar, viewing balcony and visitor centre.
Pool fans amazed by trick shot
French trick pool player Rene Marsuad succefully shot an eight ball into his own expanded foreskin in Nantes last night.
Murray: controversy over victory
Andy Murray's victory over Juan Ignacio in the French Open has come under renewed scrutiny today after it was revealed his opponent was registered blind.
Obama admits he doesn't like Brits.
President Barak Obama has admitted he has only made a fuss about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill 'so we can blame something on a nasty British company.'
Labour Go Cap in Hand to Greeks
Chancellor Alistair Darling has announced the Labour government is seeking a multi-billion euro loan from Greece.
Murray: New Raquet
Andy Murray will use a 3ft a square tennis raquet at Wimbledon this year in an attempt to compensate for his loss of form.
Burns Horror in Hamburg Bike Show
German trick motorcylist Hans Learman suffered severe buttock burns last night when he applied his bottom to his machine's exhaust in a part of his show entitled 'Blowing It Out Von's Arse.'
Lib Dems in Cheese Vow
Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has announced he will begin cheese mining operations on the moon if he wins the election.
Blair: dramatic break-out
Tony Blair has broken out of Gordon Brown's cellar and claims he will hold John Prescott hostage until the Labour Party allow him to campaign in the election.
Alex Salmond Dons Chicken Suit
Scottish party the SNP are to make TV election broadcasts with a loud hailer in chicken costumes in an attempt to get someone to listen to them.
Labour Dumps 'Things Can Only Get Better'
The Labour Party have chosen 'The End' by The Doors as their new campaign song.
Stevie Nicks in Courtroom Minge Battle
Fleetwood Mac star Stevie Nicks is to trademark her vagina after she claims Gordon' Brown's plastic surgeon used it as the model for the Prime Minister's face.
Warmists Get Own Malady
People who believe in global warming will receive a new classification of mental illness. Bi-polar Bear Warmophrenics will be registered disabled and will not be allowed to operate heavy machinery.
Found! Ministers Alive!
Seven former Labour cabinet ministers including former Home Secretary Jackie Smith have been found alive and well at a disused RAF base near Cirencester, Wilts.
Jeff and Ron in Wig Promise
Rock legends Ron Wood and Jeff Beck have promised to only source their wigs from free range farms in future after their supplier was found to be breeding toupes in squalor at Hairpiece Farm.
Fleetwood Mac Star Gears Up For Courtroom Minge Battle
Fleetwood Mac star Stevie Nicks is to trademark her vagina after she claims Gordon Brown's plastic surgeon used it as the model for his face.
New Sign in Fort Worth
A new sign on the freeway at Fort Worth, Texas, is to show visitors the way to Amarillo.
Brown's Wife in Door Drama
Prime Minister's wife Sarah Brown got stuck in a doorway at a supermarket opening this morning after she forgot to turn sideways when leaving the shop.
Brown's Flaps Removed
Gordon Brown underwent emergency surgery to remove his jowels this morning after they almost suffocated him in the night.
Labour Dumps 'Things Can Only Get Better'
The Labour Party has chosen 'Where Will It End' by Joy Division as its campaign song in the forthcoming UK elections.
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