Showing snippets written by Jesus Budda.
Show all snippets.
Man Breaks World Record
"I'm terribly sorry. I'll buy you a new one", he sighed.
Complaints over Boil-in-the-Bag Rice
"Mine contained no boils at all", moaned an angry consumer.
Goats' Cheese Tastes Terrible
The goat in question returned to the supermarket and made a complaint.
Dog turns up to School Without Homework
...claims owner ate it.
Woman Writes Snippet
..Man claims hers is just as bad and humourless as his.
Man Writes Snippet
..Woman thinks she'd do better.
Woman Puts Knickers on Backwards
A woman got dressed in a hurry and put her knickers on backwards.
A man walking outside saw her in her bedroom window and wrote a Spoof Snippet about it. Sad perverted bastard.
Man Stands Outside Front Door
A local man stood outside his front door this morning.
His wife locked him out because she hates the look of his face.
A man across the road wrote a Spoof Snippet about this tedious shite.
Garden Gnome In Back Yard Has Creepy Face
The Garden Gnome known as 'Gary the Garden Gnome' has been described by locals as being a 'creepy little fucker'.
Some sad old twat wrote a Spoof Snippet about this crap story.
Dog hates Cat
The dog from across the street hates the neighbour's cat.
He barks at it and wants to eat it.
A sad bastard added it as a Spoof Snippet for God knows what reason.
Man Sticks Finger Up Bum
A man walking down the street paused to shove his finger up his arse and have a good scratch.
Somebody took a picture on their mobile phone and a sad bastard wrote about it as a Spoof Snippet.
Man Laughs at Something
A local man walking down the street suddenly laughed at something that popped into his head.
People thought he was a weirdo but a sad bastard decided it was newsworthy enough for a Spoof Snippet.
Local Man, Sikhs, Justice
A local man, a group of Sikhs and a Justice of the Law featured today in a random spoof snippet.
Dyslexic man Awakes from Comma
Dyslexic local man Timmy Tidbits, 43, awoke today after a long nap.
"I thought I was in a coma but I'm not too good with spelling, ya see", he explained.
Local Man Cleans Sticky Bum
Local man Barry Nubbins spotted a homeless bum stuck in some wet, newly laid concrete at the side of the road.
He took him home and gave him a (golden) shower.
Local Taxi Driver Missing
People have been told to be on the look out for a fat, tattooed bloke with a sun-burned right arm.
Local Convict Comes Quietly
Prison warders advised him to keep the noise levels down when he was ejaculating.
Old Woman Swallows a Fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps she'll die.
Doctors have advised her to swallow a spider that wriggles and jiggles inside her to see if that helps.
Local Illiterate Man Can't Read this Spoof Snippet
Local illiterate man Kevin Grimes, 42, says he doesn't have a f*cking clue what this spoof snippet is all about.
"It's probably saying I'm a stupid hairy bastard or something", he grumbled.
Local man Stares at Tits While Playing with his Cock
Local man Barry Nubbins spent the entire afternoon gazing at a family of Blue Tits feeding in his garden today, while he played with his prize-winning pet Cockerel Percy.
Local Man Turns Life Around
He had been trying to read his copy of the magazine upside down.
In a previous snippet I said that I am well endowed.
On further examination it was discovered that I have a tiny knob.
I apologise unreservedly to myself.
In a previous snippet we said that Mary Jones is an ugly bitch.
We looked into the matter is found that she is just a bitch.
We apologise unreservedly to Ms. Jones
In a previous snippet we said that Barry Nubbins had a wank in bed last night
On further examination we discovered he simply had an itch.
We apologise unreservedly to Mr. Nubbins.
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