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Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jesus Budda.

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Man Breaks World Record

"I'm terribly sorry. I'll buy you a new one", he sighed.

written by Jesus Budda, 25 February 2011
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Complaints over Boil-in-the-Bag Rice

"Mine contained no boils at all", moaned an angry consumer.

written by Jesus Budda, 25 February 2011
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Goats' Cheese Tastes Terrible

The goat in question returned to the supermarket and made a complaint.

written by Jesus Budda, 25 February 2011
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Dog turns up to School Without Homework

...claims owner ate it.

written by Jesus Budda, 24 February 2011
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Woman Writes Snippet

..Man claims hers is just as bad and humourless as his.

written by Jesus Budda, 24 February 2011
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Man Writes Snippet

..Woman thinks she'd do better.

written by Jesus Budda, 24 February 2011
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Woman Puts Knickers on Backwards

A woman got dressed in a hurry and put her knickers on backwards.
A man walking outside saw her in her bedroom window and wrote a Spoof Snippet about it. Sad perverted bastard.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
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Man Stands Outside Front Door

A local man stood outside his front door this morning.
His wife locked him out because she hates the look of his face.
A man across the road wrote a Spoof Snippet about this tedious shite.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
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Garden Gnome In Back Yard Has Creepy Face

The Garden Gnome known as 'Gary the Garden Gnome' has been described by locals as being a 'creepy little fucker'.
Some sad old twat wrote a Spoof Snippet about this crap story.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
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Dog hates Cat

The dog from across the street hates the neighbour's cat.
He barks at it and wants to eat it.
A sad bastard added it as a Spoof Snippet for God knows what reason.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
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Man Sticks Finger Up Bum

A man walking down the street paused to shove his finger up his arse and have a good scratch.
Somebody took a picture on their mobile phone and a sad bastard wrote about it as a Spoof Snippet.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
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Man Laughs at Something

A local man walking down the street suddenly laughed at something that popped into his head.
People thought he was a weirdo but a sad bastard decided it was newsworthy enough for a Spoof Snippet.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
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Local Man, Sikhs, Justice

A local man, a group of Sikhs and a Justice of the Law featured today in a random spoof snippet.



written by Jesus Budda, 15 June 2010
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Dyslexic man Awakes from Comma

Dyslexic local man Timmy Tidbits, 43, awoke today after a long nap.
"I thought I was in a coma but I'm not too good with spelling, ya see", he explained.

written by Jesus Budda, 15 June 2010
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Local Man Cleans Sticky Bum

Local man Barry Nubbins spotted a homeless bum stuck in some wet, newly laid concrete at the side of the road.
He took him home and gave him a (golden) shower.

written by Jesus Budda, 15 June 2010
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Local Taxi Driver Missing

People have been told to be on the look out for a fat, tattooed bloke with a sun-burned right arm.

written by Jesus Budda, 15 June 2010
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Local Convict Comes Quietly

Prison warders advised him to keep the noise levels down when he was ejaculating.

written by Jesus Budda, 15 June 2010
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Old Woman Swallows a Fly

I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps she'll die.
Doctors have advised her to swallow a spider that wriggles and jiggles inside her to see if that helps.

written by Jesus Budda, 15 June 2010
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Local Illiterate Man Can't Read this Spoof Snippet

Local illiterate man Kevin Grimes, 42, says he doesn't have a f*cking clue what this spoof snippet is all about.
"It's probably saying I'm a stupid hairy bastard or something", he grumbled.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 June 2010
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Local man Stares at Tits While Playing with his Cock

Local man Barry Nubbins spent the entire afternoon gazing at a family of Blue Tits feeding in his garden today, while he played with his prize-winning pet Cockerel Percy.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 June 2010
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Local Man Turns Life Around

He had been trying to read his copy of the magazine upside down.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 June 2010
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Correction #05

In a previous snippet I said that I am well endowed.
On further examination it was discovered that I have a tiny knob.
I apologise unreservedly to myself.

written by Jesus Budda, 31 May 2010
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Correction #04

In a previous snippet we said that Mary Jones is an ugly bitch.
We looked into the matter is found that she is just a bitch.
We apologise unreservedly to Ms. Jones

written by Jesus Budda, 31 May 2010
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Correction #03

In a previous snippet we said that Barry Nubbins had a wank in bed last night
On further examination we discovered he simply had an itch.
We apologise unreservedly to Mr. Nubbins.

written by Jesus Budda, 31 May 2010


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