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Man With Two Heads Seeks Compensation From U.N. Commission Of Proverbs
emphatically stating, "If you really think two heads are better than one, you should try walking a mile in my shoes."
Piers Morgan To Release New Book For Christmas
entitled 'Yes, I Indeed Get The Most Abusive Twitter Messages Of Any Personality In Media' - Every twitter message he has received since joining CNN. 23,615 pages. $39.99 US/$49.99 CAN
BREAKING NEWS: LAX - Los Angeles Airport
In an effort to put an end to false gun reports at LAX, all ticket carrying passengers will now be issued their own AK-47's and the authority to deal with any situation as they see fit.
Toronto Crack Mayor Rob Ford Suddenly Retires
Controversial Toronto crack mayor, Rob Ford, has decided to retire so he can spend more time with his cats.
As A Child In Indonesia, Obama Ate Dog Meat
They were nice dogs, obedient dogs, however they were dead dogs, killed after having fallen off the roofs of cars driven by Mormon missionaries.
Robin Gibb Awakens From 12 Day Coma
...but was immediately put back into a coma by Trini Lopez accompanied by a performance artist named Thor doing a visually persuasive version of 'If I Had A Hammer'.
Hillary Clinton Wants To Come Down Hard On Secret Service In Prostitution Scandal
Oh. I bet she does!
U.S. Sailor From USS Ramage Who Shot Into Port Town has admitted that he was actually attempting to annex Poland.
No others seem to be involved but one US official with a funny moustache was quoted as saying in a clipped voice "vee vill let you know."
Iraqi Man In Arizona Who Ran Down His Daughter...
...for being 'too westernized' has bought a 4 wheel drive BMW SUV and joined a golf and country club in Scottsdale.
Michael Schumacher Says He Has Lost 3 Kilos Since Announcing His Return
and all it took was to share a breakfast of All Bran and prune juice with Bernie and Max.
Conrad Poohs And His Dancing Teeth
have been invited to perform at a White House Gala honoring the Association of American Dental Hygienists. Debbie Rowe will perform the toast at dinner followed by a signing of Petri dishes.
Michael Jackson Still, Still....And Still...Not Buried
Prior to his death, Michael Jackson had promised to dig his own grave but has reneged on that agreement. Lawyers are contemplating action.
Swine Flu Attacks Only Young and Healthy...
...the elderly and sick rejoice.
Vancouver Man Tasered By R.C.M.P.
for removing the 'Do Not Remove' tag from his mattress.
Stevie Wonder Releases Message Regarding Michael Jackson's 'Murder'
... .. . .... . ... ... .... .. ... ... ... . ..... . .... .. .. . . ... . . . ... . . . . . ... . . ... .
Video Shocker: Michael Jackson On Fire In Pepsi Ad
That's nothing. You forget what Coke did to John Belushi.
Pope To Start New 24 Hour Internet Radio Service
All Gregorian chants, all the time.
15-foot shark washes ashore in N.Y.
Believed to have worked for Goldman Sachs.
California is going to rethink its policy that enables...
a drug addicted, financially insolvent, single black man suspected of child molestation to have a white woman artificially inseminated with a white man's sperm so that he can bring up the children.
The Space Shuttle Has Been Postponed Due To Lightning
..which some say is a result of Elvis whoopin' Michael Jackson's butt for marrying his daughter.
Best One Liner At Michael Jackson Memorial That Everybody Missed
...from Stevie Wonder.
"Michael Jackson dead. I never thought I'd see this."
Michael Jackson's Brain To Be Shot Into Space
Which is appropriate. It's been circling Uranus for the last 25 years.
Michael Jackson Funeral Procession
Funeral director is wondering if it's wise to have Al Cowlings driving the hearse.
Beatle Manager Allen Klein Dies At 77
'The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still'
- Paul McCartney
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