Showing breaking news satire snippets written by SpaceElevator.

Show all snippets.

Husband Loses Interest at Rug Flop

(Bahrain, Middle East) 43-year-old man, whose wife coerced him to a 'rug flop', loses total interest in the event & chooses to watch animated Disney feature in kids' room instead. More news @ 11...

written by SpaceElevator, 05 October 2013

Jobs-Obama-Gaddafi-USPS Nexus

Jobs quits Apple job! Obama wants more jobs! Gaddafi goes "postal", loses job! U.S. Postal Service poised to cut even more jobs! More news at 11 ... if I still have a job.

written by SpaceElevator, 25 August 2011

What "rhymes" with Tattoo-Gate...?

Ohio State

written by SpaceElevator, 23 December 2010

Lunar Eclipse Produces New Astronomical Color Hue

Scientists officially declare hue of lunar eclipse as "Boehner Orange".

Crayola offers $100-million for exclusive naming rights.

written by SpaceElevator, 21 December 2010

Language Sensitivity Reaches New Low

Anti-Postal Defamation League denounces term "going postal"
Anti-Virus Defamation League denounces term "going viral"
Anti-Elizabethan Pamphleteering Defamation League denounces term "going rogue"

written by SpaceElevator, 20 December 2010

Unique Stocking Stuffer Ideas...

a hamster, a goldfish, a rainbow, a severed fruitcake, a cheeseburger, a bowl of soup, a taco, a French horn, another stocking, a starfish, a snowball, a dart board, a spare tire, sauerkraut, money...

written by SpaceElevator, 20 December 2010

Sarah Palin and John Boehner Accuse Trio (Santa Claus/Julian Assange/Barack Obama) of Planning Sex Attack on Parliament

Christmas Eve Day plot should not affect WikiLeaks, X Factor, or football.

written by SpaceElevator, 18 December 2010

'Abominable Snowman' Files Unfair Discrimination Lawsuit

Yeti's Bhutan-based lawyer claims that label placed on client needlessly frightens public.

written by SpaceElevator, 16 December 2010

What Were Mark Madoff and Taimur Abdulwahab al-Abdaly Thinking?

Experts say last thing to go through a suicidal mind is the thought of loved ones.

Loved ones say first thing to go through their minds is "that's a strange way to show your love".

written by SpaceElevator, 13 December 2010

General Appearance

A medium size sighthound giving the appearance of elegance and fitness, denoting great speed, power and balance without coarseness. A true sporting hound...

Ahem. Oops. Misread this as "WHIPPETS"!

written by SpaceElevator, 10 December 2010

Self-indulgently Long-winded News Headlines Threaten to Crash Overburdened Server; Lowton Asks for Brevity.

Comically absurd number of abnormally long-winded news stories with painfully-long headlines present exceptionally dire emergency to an already fire-hazardous area known as headquarters.

written by SpaceElevator, 29 November 2010

BSU Foozball Program Responds to Critics

Boise State's football program intends to ratchet up its non-conference schedule strength in 2014.
New opponents include: DeVry University, University of Phoenix, and Thomas Nelson Community College.

written by SpaceElevator, 14 November 2010

Carnal Splendor Spontaneously Combusts in the Sea of Despair

Carnal Splendor, a 100% clothing optional cruise ship for swinging couples, caught fire in the Sea of Despair today.

written by SpaceElevator, 12 November 2010

Netanyahu: Issue of building plans in e. J'lem "overblown"

Adds: "It really does smell of shit there."

written by SpaceElevator, 10 November 2010

Man -- not near tree falling in middle of woods -- did not hear it.

A man, who was nowhere near a tree that fell in the middle of the woods yesterday, did not hear it fall. Draw your own conclusion.

written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010

Bears DO shit in the woods.

Ages-old mystery solved.

written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010

Pope DOES Wear a Funny Hat.

Centuries-old mystery solved.

written by SpaceElevator, 05 November 2010

another big Shocker...

Americans are politically numb.
More news at eleven.
(MOTO Press International)

written by SpaceElevator, 02 November 2010

big Shocker...

Released Guantanamo prisoners now in Yemen might be attempting to retaliate against the U.S. (MOTO Press International)

written by SpaceElevator, 02 November 2010

Paul the Octopus's Dying Words

"Prepare to fire the..INK!"

written by SpaceElevator, 28 October 2010

Sh*t happens!

Against the odds, writer's story has been viewed more than 2000 times ...but never rated ...not even once.

written by SpaceElevator, 27 October 2010

Rumsfeld-Wolfowitz team poised to take over at BP

(London, U.K.) - Americans Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz will lead BP with new company logo: Rumsf'BP'lfowitz.

"We can't possibly erode U.S. trust any further... or can we?"

written by SpaceElevator, 27 October 2010

Featured Writer nomination causes elation in Fields' house

Excited over the accolades presented to her husband, Mrs. Fields (spouse of featured writer, Ellis Ian Fields) declares: "My cookie-baking days are now over, Mister Shakespeare!"

written by SpaceElevator, 26 October 2010

International Court delivers opinion on Reference re Secession of Isle of Wight & Isle of Man

(Hague, Netherlands): Historic 8-versus-7 ruling grants men in midlife crises right to secede and form new nation-state: Isle of Wight-Man.

written by SpaceElevator, 01 October 2010

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