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Joe-Bama The Televangelist
A man dubbing himself "Joe-Bama The Televangelist" made a public statement that the current president-elect is doomed to hell if he expects to raise taxes "on those of us who currently evade them".
McCain Attorneys: Recount Necessary
McCain lawyers demand a recount of the 2008 election. "Certainly, we did not win. But the electoral count is flawed." If the recount is not favorable, Obama will be sued for "embarassing the RNC".
Bush Denounces Zimbabwe Election
President Bush calls the election results for Mugabe a "fraud". Bush advisors are suggesting he not make any additional public statements about the election, reminding the president how "close to home" this hits.
Water Surplus Issue Surmounts
Throughout the water-logged midwest, ordinances are being passed demanding residents to "drink in excess", water their lawns numerous times throughout the day and courtesy flush three times each visit to the bathroom.
Tom Cruise Suffering "Unrelenting Headache"
Inside sources say that Tom Cruise is suffering a headache that "refuses to go away". Paranoid wife Katie reportedly asks Tom, "Is it me?" Mr. Cruise is requesting the Scientology Church let him take "just two aspirin", a request as often denied as it is asked, resources say.
Spoof Reporter Assaulted by Mcconaughey
A field reporter for The Spoof! was attacked by an angry Matthew Mcconaughey as he ripped the reporter's camera from his grip. The celebrity accused the writer of "authoring untrue stories" while the reporter insisted he was only trying to get a photo of "the real actor" behind him.
Misguiding GPS Leads to Death
A California business woman met her death following verbal instructions of a fouled GPS system. Headed to a Beverly Hills meeting, she was found killed in her rented Mercedes, located in a gang-ridden area of the city. The voice of the mechanism insisted, "You have arrived at your destination."
Obama Challenges McCain to Shoot-out
In honor of the recent Supreme Court decision that banning handguns is unconstitutional, Barack Obama calls on John McCain to a shoot-out. McCain has not replied however sources say he has looked into obtaining permits along Pennsylvania Avenue.
Pharmaceutical Ads Regulated
Medication ads are facing new governing. Since overdosing on even aspirin can be fatal, most disclaimers that list "headaches, dizziness, nausea..." as side affects will now include "...and of course death".
Penn State Inmates Go Green
A group of inmates in Pennsylvania have organized a prison-wide eco campaign. They call upon their fellow felons to effort such things as recycling toilet paper and flipping the switch, hours before lights out.
Perfumed Toilet Paper Preferred Cause of Cancer
The Surgeon General has just released its new finding that cancer is good for your health. In the wake of this announcement, the office adds, "Use of perfumed toilet paper is now recommended."
Scientology in the News Again
Scientology protests escalated in Clearwater, FL yesterday. By day's end, however, over 200 of the 300 picketers converted to the church and turned the cameras on their former counterparts.
2008 Election Update: RNC Canceled
Due to a "growing lack of interest" in the Republican party's prime candidate, they announced that this year's Republican National Convention has been canceled. "Unless of course there is a public outcry," a party spokesperson stated. "So far - nothing."
Google News Goofs Stories
Google News erroneously referenced all its news articles to TheSpoof.com today. Said TheSpoof.com: "Our switchboards lit up by the panicked public. As a measure to lighten up the matter, we are telling everyone yes - all our stories are true."
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