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John Boehner Admits: I Am a Woman!
John Boehner today admitted what many have suspected for years, he has a vagina. "I have wanted to bring out the truth for so long said Joan through his tears, now I can cry and nave mascara run!
Snippets on Sale Again
Okay our last sale was so popular we ran clean out of snippets. So now were going to offer a buy-back program. 100 snippets for the price of 1, that's our final offer. Don't be shy watch them fly!
Sarah Palin Comes to Defense of Christine O' Donnel
Sarah Palin defended Christine O' Donnel's gaf about the first ammendment today, saying she is often confused about that "Constitution stuff too". She wants Christine to be her running mate in 2012.
Second Hand Snippets For Sale!
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Spoof Writers Attacked by Giant Gerbils With Flu!
Last night as they arrived at an island to discover the Oracle of Knowledge, Spoof writers were beset upon by 4 foot tall gerbils "From Hell". See the Magazine Section for the entire 15 chapters!
Rolling Stones Considering Retirement
Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ron Woods and Charlie Watts considered retirement today, after seconds of deliberations Richards said, "Naaaaaaaah." the other three nodded in agreement and went to lunch.
The Monkees Mull Reunion Tour
Hey Hey were the..... old codgers who still sing Monkees songs. Yes Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Peter Tork and Michael Nesmith have agreed to a reunion tour that would take them from Tampa Bay to Miami
All French Decide to Retire Now
The French People today decided to stop arguing with Sarkozy and every single French person will drop what they are doing and retire, eliminating the need for a retirement age.
Tom and Jerry Come Out of Retirment
Tom and Jerry have come out of retirement to make new cartoons. Age has taken its toll on the pair, Tom is in a wheel chair and will have to roll after Jerry, who uses a walker.
Republicans Propose to Lower Expenses So Taxes Can Be Lowered More
We cannot lower taxes any more under the present low revenue projections, we propose lowering prices on all goods and services so we can lower taxes for people some more. This will be pretty stupid.
Swiss Upset to Discover Their Cheese is Full of Holes!
Many Swiss have begun to complain about the holes in Swiss cheese. "Its a rip-off to consumer" say's Olaf Svenson, "Just look at how much more you get with Cheddar, its solid!"
Chilean Miners Headed to David Letterman Show
All 33 Chilean miners are headed to New York to appear on David Letterman. "I thought I could have them do a Top 33 Countdown, "Things that Suck About Being Trapped in a Mine", says Letterman.
Chilean Miners to Form Singing Group: World Tour in the Works!
Chilean Miners have announced plans to tour as a singing group. Their song list will include, "Rock of Ages", Rock n Roll Music, Roll Over Beethoven, Keep on Rock'n Me Baby, and more "rock" songs.
Mr Ed Rejects Campaign Funding From Wilber
Mr. Ed today rejected financial help from Wilber his former rider on their 1960s sitcom. "Wilber is a left wing lunatic," says Ed, "Heees so far left, he makes Obama look like Carl Rove."
Mideast Peace Accord Reached Between Israeli and Palistinean
Two men met in Jerusalem the week to play checkers and decided they would sign their own peace accord creating a Palistinean state and make Jerusalem an international city belonging to all people.
Elephant to Debate Dolphin for Senatorial Race in Indiana
A dolphin and an elephant using new translation equipment will debate each other as the run for former Senator Bayh's vacated seat. Human candidates baulked at debating intelligent mammals.
Petula Clark Leaves Branson!
Branson Missouri is sad today and people may soon have to find their way to San Jose, if they want to hear Petula Clark sing, "Do You Know The Way to San Jose!" She actually just went for the weekend.
"I Have Two Brains" says Stephen Hawkings
"Whereas most of you peons have only one brain, I have two," said Stephen Hawkings in a recent interview, "They aren't bigger, just better."
Wisconsin Doesn't Belong in the Top 20 Says Ohio State
Wisconsin football fans are fuming after Ohio State football fans dissed their team and said the Wisconsin Badgers are actually just overgrown hamsters.
Why I Never Married: Mr. Ed
"Mares! They're all the same!" said Mr Ed in his retirment paddock in Florida. "All they want is more, more, more, more! And I don't have the balls to give to 'em no more, I'mmmmm a geldin'"
Lindsay Lohan's Secret: I have Two
Lindsay Lohan was given a medical leave of absence from prison today when it was discovered she was actually pregnant twice. "She is three months and two months pregnant," said a startled physician.
Mr Ed Comes Out of Retirement to Run For President
Mr Ed of the 1960's tv comedy of the same name, has recently come out his pasture to speak his mind. "I may be senile, but horses don't have half the gas of these politicians. I say....oops I forgot.
Palin Caught Impersonating Ronald Reagan's Horse
Sarah Palin, who recently said, "I'm just like Ronald Reagan." Did an uncanny imitation of Ronald Reagan's horse when she got on all fours and winnied at the crowd of a Senator she is supporting.
Sarah Palin Hates Tea Parties!
Sarah Palin today read a list of top ten dislikes on stage at a rally for Senator. 10 was "I hate people who hate guns." 9 was "I hate people who hate me for hating people who hate guns.
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