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Ralph Nader Upset To Be Left Off Ballot
Insists Green Spring Elementary place him on the list of Class President candidates.
Beer-a-myd Collapses in College Dorm Room
Eleven freshmen and a Vietnamese pot-belly pig injured
Former Muppet Show Puppeteer Jailed for Theft
Convenience store cameras capture his sock-festooned hand stealing Snickers bars.
Internet History Revealed
Developed by O.J Simpson as a means to "find the real killer".
Rice Crispies Quit Talking
Snap, Crackle and Pop may be suffering from depression and could be suicidal. They are on 24x7 bowl watch.
Pro Bass Fisherman to Take Time Off to Relax
Will write lines of computer code and solve differential equations to unwind.
U.S Invades Itself
The U.S Army, at the direction of George Bush, invaded the U.S today. White House sources denied Bush was only doing it for the oil in Texas.
Porno Released Without Clever Double-Entendre Title
Mark Cuban to sell Dirk Nowitsky on Ebay
After their first round playoff loss, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban vowed to sell star forward Dirk Nowitsky to the highest bidder on Ebay. No word yet if there will be a reserve price set for this bidding.
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