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New York City Admits To Lie

Mayor Michael Bloomberg, when prompted by a reporter at a recent press conference, admits, "At any given moment, thousands of New Yorkers are, indeed, sleeping."

written by Gilana Gelman, 13 February 2009
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Cupid Approves Of Valentine's Day

The chubby cherub is said to be glad people finally understand that love is best shown by buying ugly teddy bears and cheap chocolates.

written by Gilana Gelman, 13 February 2009
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Mohels Hit Hard By Economy

Rabbi David Abrams, a certified mohel, or performer of circumcisions, admits that times are so tough he has been forced to stop charging for his services. Instead, he lives off of tips.

written by Gilana Gelman, 13 February 2009
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Bjork Lawsuit

Icelandic yodeler Bjork is reportedly suing the Muppets. Ms. Bjork claims the Swedish Chef repeats her name 3 times at the end of every sentence he utters, and she demands compensation.

written by Gilana Gelman, 13 February 2009
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Simon Cowell Bleach Tragedy

American Idol judge Simon Cowell will miss the next 3 upcoming episodes due to a Clorox spill. Reportedly, all 300 of Mr. Cowell's black t-shirts have been ruined.

written by Gilana Gelman, 13 February 2009
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Sally Field In Hiding

A mob of post-menopausal women is picketing Sally Field's home, demanding to know what's so hard about remembering to take a pill once a week. She has not returned repeated Pokes or Twitters.

written by Gilana Gelman, 13 February 2009
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