Showing snippets written by Gilana Gelman.
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New York City Admits To Lie
Mayor Michael Bloomberg, when prompted by a reporter at a recent press conference, admits, "At any given moment, thousands of New Yorkers are, indeed, sleeping."
Cupid Approves Of Valentine's Day
The chubby cherub is said to be glad people finally understand that love is best shown by buying ugly teddy bears and cheap chocolates.
Mohels Hit Hard By Economy
Rabbi David Abrams, a certified mohel, or performer of circumcisions, admits that times are so tough he has been forced to stop charging for his services. Instead, he lives off of tips.
Icelandic yodeler Bjork is reportedly suing the Muppets. Ms. Bjork claims the Swedish Chef repeats her name 3 times at the end of every sentence he utters, and she demands compensation.
Simon Cowell Bleach Tragedy
American Idol judge Simon Cowell will miss the next 3 upcoming episodes due to a Clorox spill. Reportedly, all 300 of Mr. Cowell's black t-shirts have been ruined.
Sally Field In Hiding
A mob of post-menopausal women is picketing Sally Field's home, demanding to know what's so hard about remembering to take a pill once a week. She has not returned repeated Pokes or Twitters.
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