Showing snippets written by Doug Burrell.
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Donald Trump to Bring Back the Wig Party
Still insists his hair is real.
Wal-Mart to Offer Abortions in Store
Critics howl they've gone too far!
Alberto Gonzales is the cause of global warming!
New study suggests the Attorney General is responsible for the Earth's rising temperatures. "All the hot air he was spewing at the Congressional hearings contributed greatly to global warming" says Harvard study.
Tiger Woods Attacked by Tiger in the Woods
(Orlando, FL) Tiger Woods was attacked by a tiger in the woods last night while camping with his wife. She reportedly yelled "FORE!" before the tiger attacked, but it was too late. Tiger is said to be recovering at a local hospital with only minor injuries.
Cell Phones to Blame for Bee's disappearance
Bees tired of roaming fees, move to area where calls are free.
Congress Agrees on Funds for Border Fence
(Washington, DC) After months of partisan bickering about the funding of a proposed border fence along the US/Mexican border, Congress agreed to purchase the fence from WalMart for the everyday low price of $249.99.
Sanjaya Sings Country on Idol, Alambama Secedes from Union
Following "American Idol" contestant Sanjaya Malakar's performance of a country song on last night's show, Alabama lawmakers called an emergency session and voted to secede from the Union. Governor Bob Riley told reporters, "America ain't what it used to be! Git 'r done!"
Cheney Plans Next Hunting Trip, Mayor Order Evacuation
The mayor of a small South Dakota town ordered a mandatory evacuation after it announced that Vice-President Dick Cheney would have his next hunting trip there. Shelters in neighboring counties, out of gunshot range, will be available for displaced residents.
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