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Ball-clamping to be outlawed
The painful practice of ball-clamping, whereby if somebody loiters in the same spot for more than an hour his testicles are clamped and he must pay a fee to have them released, is to be banned.
Thank God It's Friday - Terrorists all too busy praying to blow us up
The world heaved a sigh of relief at 1 minute past midnight on Friday morning, knowing that it had survived another week against the terrorists, who would now all be busy praying at various mosques.
"St-st-st-st-stammering's a s-s-s-s-serious problem", director of British Stammering Association says
The director of the British Stammering Association, in a 2-hour interview, told our reporter that stammering is a serious problem.
Cabinet Minister Ed Balls changes first name to "Suckmy"
Westminster is reeling after news that the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families, Ed Balls, has changed his first name to "Suckmy". Now he will be known as "the Right Honourable Suckmy Balls".
"TomTom to blame" for Presidential delay
President Bush arrived a day late at New York to address the UN. He claimed his TomTom sat nav directed him via the Tyne Tunnel.
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