Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Selmer.

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Aaron Hernandez's future getting clearer

ESPN cites unnamed sources in reporting Hernandez planning a Longest Yard inspired prison football league. Hernandez envisions himself as a player-coach running his newly designed Pistol Offense.

written by Selmer, 20 July 2013

Sanjaya "Removed" from Idol Competition

"American Idol" audience members were first shocked, but then erupted in exuberant applause during the performance of "You Really Got Me" by Sanjaya when Ray Davies jumped out of the crowd during the song and beat him into a coma. Prosecutors are not expected to file charges.

written by Selmer, 21 March 2007

Coke Not "The Real Thing" According to Addicts Suing for False Advertising

Plaintiffs undaunted by the fact that the slogan hasn't been used in decades.

written by Selmer, 18 March 2007

Heather Mills strikes well-wisher.

After a fan told Heather Mills to break a leg, she removed her prosthetic and hit him over the head with it.

written by Selmer, 13 March 2007

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