Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Kilroy.

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Three Rules for Black Men Being Burglarized

1) Call the Police

2) Go outside, lie on the ground spread eagle and wait for the Police arrive

3) When uncuffed, file a Police report.

written by Kilroy, 22 July 2016

Kim Kardashian Arrested in Atlanta Airport....

...a search of her jeans uncovered 50 pounds of crack.

written by Kilroy, 12 July 2016

Beyonce's ass seceeds from JayZ...

...Kanye plants his flag claims it for Yeezus.

written by Kilroy, 11 March 2015

Early Reviews of Tron Reveal....

...the game still looks lame.

written by Kilroy, 11 December 2010

Cause of death determined in Mays case...

...apparently died from exhaustion trying to scrub that stain out of Michael Jackson's career.

written by Kilroy, 30 June 2009

"You're Terminated, Sucker!"

A bumbling museum night guard single-handedly destroyed SkyNet over the Memorial Day weekend. Police are investigating the incident as part of a larger terrorism conspiracy.

written by Kilroy, 26 May 2009

Santa's Elf Arrested on Racketeering Charges....

...for taking bribes to remove kids from the naughty list.

written by Kilroy, 23 December 2008

Phillies Fans Rude

Phillies Fans Accuse Rays of Killing Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter

written by Kilroy, 28 October 2008

World Series Rained Out

Rays accused of summoning Odin to delay their imminent defeat.

written by Kilroy, 28 October 2008

Saw V Loses Weekend Box Office to High School Musical III

Entire "High School Musical" cast will be killed off in Saw VI. Film expected to break all records.

written by Kilroy, 28 October 2008

Palin Tells McCain to Stand Up to Obama...

...then leaves him for a younger man.

written by Kilroy, 16 October 2008

Donald Duck found dead, stuffed inside an unidentified turkey.

Body of renown character actor Foghorn Leghorn discovered inside Donald's body cavity. Fowl play suspected.

written by Kilroy, 02 October 2008

UFO Stalks "Rocket Man" Across English Channel

Reportedly kept offering him a ride then flying off.

written by Kilroy, 01 October 2008

Bush Adresses Nation on State of The Economy

Advises consumers to panic now and avoid the rush.

written by Kilroy, 25 September 2008

Sunspots missing. Earth cools.

Stop global cooling now. Feed cows beans.

written by Kilroy, 16 September 2008

Pigs Protest Obama's lipstick remark...

Resent being compared to a Republican.

written by Kilroy, 10 September 2008

Ghost of Vince Foster Endorses Obama

Clinton campaign compares him to Ron Brown for no apparent reason.

written by Kilroy, 07 March 2008

Monkey Accuses Weasel of Sexual Harassment

Weasel claims "popping" was consensual.

written by Kilroy, 23 October 2007

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