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Bureau Forced To Stop Writing Snippets!
TheSpoof.com snippet king, Bureau, has been forced to give up writing the damned things due to 'a bad back'. He told another writer on the site:
"Nobody reads the fucking things anyway!"
Snippet KIng Writes Snippet
A man who, only last week, was proclaimed Snippet King on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has, this morning, written a snippet.
Bangkok Man Goes To Bed Early
A Hull man masquerading as an English teacher in Bangkok has gone to bed early tonight, it's been reported, as he has a busy day ahead of him tomorrow.
Netherlands or Holland?
The Netherlands (Holland) will now meet Brasil (Brazil) after they made it through to the last eight of the 2010 World Cup with a goal in each half to beat Slovakia (Czechoslovakia) 3-1.
Fat Ladies Choir Preparing To Sing In West Brom
The West Midlands Fat Ladies Choir was rehearsing feverishly tonight, after relegation-threatened West Bromwich Albion slid to another home defeat, this time 3-1 to Arsenal.
Dismembered Body Latest
The dismembered body of a man found on wasteland in Halesowen on Monday, was said in a police statement today to be "still dead".
Murder Victim In Court Today
John Doe, accused of murdering himself, has appeared at Hull Crown Court today. He remained silent throughout the hearing, his solicitor entering a plea of Not Guilty on his behalf.
Nude Photos Of IN SEINE Circulating Internet
Nude pictures of a baby IN SEINE have been circulating the internet, it has been claimed. Police are investigating, and say they will destroy the offensive material once it is in custody.
Sarah Palin To Sign For Man City
Republican Sarah Palin is the transfer target for Man City's new Arab owners, after they decided to acquire every current 'big name' their money could buy.
Where's Sarah Palin From?
Asked where his Republican running mate, Sarah Palin, hails from, Senator John McCain told journalists:
"I don't know. I'll ask her."
Police Discover Ashes In Fire-ravaged Building
Forensics experts have discovered what they say are "ashes" in the burnt-out shell of a house in Nottingham.
Crop Circles Found In Woman's Hair
A 36-year-old mother-of-two had the shock of her life this morning, when she woke to find crop circles in her hair. Mary Smith's daughter Amy, 4, told her: "Mum, your hair looks daft!"
Sex Is Best For Children
The results of a Government study out today, claim that having sex is the best way of conceiving children.
Beijing Olympics End On High Note
Yes, it's on to London 2012 now, as the 2008 Beijing Olympics ended on a high note today - a G10 sung by Brazilian Discus-thrower Georgia Brown.
New 'Longest Word' Found
Language experts have discovered a new 'longest word'. The word, 'wask'a' is from native South American Quechua, and means 'longest'.
Cristiano Ronaldo Not Injured
Great news for Man Utd fans! Ronaldo managed to stay further-injury-free this weekend, as the Reds don't play Portsmouth until Monday. He won't get hurt then either, as he is already on crutches.
Oldest Living Angolan Dead
Pedro Nbongo, the oldest living Angolan, has been killed in a sub-machine gun ambush accident in the capital, Luanda. He was 38.
National Lottery Double-Rollover
It's a National Lottery Double-Rollover tonight, so don't forget to buy a ticket. This week's winning numbers are: 6, 11, 14, 25, 36 and 50 The Bonus Number is 5.4
Obama Picks Natowsky As VP
Barack Obama tonight selected Sheldon Natowsky as his VP, but Sheldon, who is busy writing spoofs, told him to ***k o*f
Christmas Date For Your Diary!
An emergency meeting of the Cabinet at Whitehall, has this evening decided that, after much soul-searching, Christmas will once again be on December 25th this year.
Glitter Admits Comeback "Unlikely"
Aging paedo Gary Glitter has told police that a comeback involving a new album and a UK-wide tour, are unlikely until at least the year 10,001.
Brown And Blair On Muslim 'Hitlist'
Police investigations involving thousands of officers, have uncovered a deep-seated Muslim resentment of ex-PM Tony Blair and present PM Gordon Brown, and a sinister plot to murder the pair.
Big Brother Housemates In Argument
More BB mayhem tonight as Mo withheld a hamburger, Nicole cried, Rex shouted and Darnell took a bath. Later, Mo apologised. Usual shit.
Branch Falls From Tree, Killing 12
There was chaos in a Berkshire street today, when a branch fell from an oak tree, killing 7 ants, three wood lice, an earthworm and a man asleep.
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