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Space not the final fronter
Scientists today claimed to have found another fronter behind space, this will cause millions of text book's to be changed to now read - space the second from final frontier.
Jordon's left breast explodes out of sympathy for Andre
Today Jordon's left breast exploded in what is believed to be sympathy for ditched husband Peter Andre. The right stood firm after never really getting on with the weak voiced singer
Robot legs kicked Clarkson
A man with robotic legs claimed the legs malfunctioned and accidental but repeatedly attempted to kick Jeremy Clarkson in the groin. Clarkson only managed to avoid the attack by hiding in a tree.
Taking the Law into his own hands
Jude law reaction to becoming a father for the 4th time was to vow to take himself into his own hands and stop impregnating women and then leaving them.
Twits on twitter
A scientific study found people who use twitter have thoughts 72% less interesting than those who don't use twitter. The consumers of twitter were uninterested in thoughts but preferred just words
Tanning salons to be renamed human cookers
In an effort to warn people of the danger of tanning salons, the government is going to bring in a new law to rename them to human cookers. It hopes the renaming will educate the orange folk.
Cowel trousers hit chin
The flat topped high trousered star of the X Factor today got a nasty surprise as he pulled his trousers up so high he hit himself in the chin and knocked himself unconscious.
Obama Kung Fu
A potential fight for charity match with Obama taking on Gordon Brown moved a step closer today when Obama took a Kung Fu lesson. When asked about the charity fight he said, never say never.
Breathing causes Death
Scientists have confirmed that breathing will lead to premature death. After studying people who breath, evidence indicate 100 percent of people who drew breath, died sometime later.
Fly escapes Obama's Swot team
Obama tried to swat a fly which landed on his arm during an interview today, only for the fly to evade the hand of Obama. Media experts announce this to be the end of the Obama honey moon period
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