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President renames Presidents' Day

Presidents day is to be renamed 'billionaire oil magnates puppet day', President Bush announced. The day will consist of an opportunity for Mr Bushs ring piece to recover after having so many wealthy republicans working his sphincter

written by Ed Parnell, 20 February 2007
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Zombies

The dead have returned to life and are eating the flesh of the living and smashing open their heads to feast on the brains of their former friends and family. Oh, hold on. No they're not. Sorry. My mistake.

written by Ed Parnell, 20 February 2007
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Britney Decapitates Self

Britney Spears has decapitated herself. Although her aides remain silent on the issue, Ms Spears has had her head replaced by a watermelon. "She's clearly on self destruct" said one Hollywood insider before adding "Do you want a large shake or fries with that?"

written by Ed Parnell, 20 February 2007
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Pope angry

The Pontiff has become enraged that some of his best speeches made to the Vatican Square have been allegedly lifted and incorporated into Joe Pasquales' act.

written by Ed Parnell, 20 February 2007
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Blair outlaws spillages

Tougher sentences are on the cards for those who spill coffee or tea around or on the Prime Ministers desk. "I regard it as an act of terror" said the PM "and I will have those responsible brought to justice. Or at least dab my trousers to get the stains out" he added.

written by Ed Parnell, 20 February 2007
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