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Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Moose&Squirell.

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New Way to Fight Tropical Deforestation

Threaten "Loggers" with forest fires.

written by Moose&Squirell, 23 September 2008
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USDA report points to plentiful holiday turkeys

Washington Balks: What does the US Agriculture Department know about politics in D.C. anyway?!

written by Moose&Squirell, 23 September 2008
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Palin, McCain Disagree on Causes of Global Warming

McCain: It's a hoax!

Palin: It's a hoax with lipstick!

written by Moose&Squirell, 23 September 2008
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5 Cheap Ways to Lower Your Blood Pressure

1. Slit your wrists.
2. Do it 4 more times

written by Moose&Squirell, 23 September 2008
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Judges give low scores on 'Dancing with the Stars'

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, A self-luminous celestial body consisting of a mass of gas balanced by the outward-directed gas and radiation pressures,...Farted, as she heard the bad news.

written by Moose&Squirell, 23 September 2008
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Miley Cyrus says she is committed to "Hannah Montana"

Hannah Montana had no comment.

written by Moose&Squirell, 23 September 2008
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Cape Kennedy Gunman had Writting on inside of Arm with Black Pen

- Arm inscription read: FED EXMAIL

written by Moose&Squirell, 21 April 2007
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Girls Caught On Tape Robbing Bank

- See newest 'Girls Gone Wild' video part#5, "Gone Shopping!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
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US Couple Use Baby As Car Payment

- "An 'arm & a leg' would of been too inhumane."

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
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Atheists in America Increasing

- "GOD calls them 'oxy-morons who need prayer'. "I mean really, whoever heard of a "Non-believing believer".

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
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CIA Spooks Infiltrate US Congress

- "N.A.A.C.P. pleased!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
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Covert U.S. Funds Being Funneled To Al Qaeda

- "We tried to reach Al, but, he wasn't returning phone calls!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
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Teacher Cuts Off Noisy Kid's Tongue

- "Female classmates begin to cry inconsolably!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Scientists Create Remote-Controlled Pigeon

- Programmed to show respect to statuary.

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Wine Drinkers Live More Healthily Than Beer Drinkers: Study

- The downside is they only live half as long.

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Castro Says He Feels Energetic, Stronger

- " I will live forev.....(BOINK!)"

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Retarded Mice Get Smarter With Drug

- "They must have. They fooled the scientist!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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'Extreme Eating' a Big Fat Problem for U.S.

- Article in Bulimia Today, "Does This Skin Make Me Look Fat?"

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Doctors Warned About Common Drugs for Pain

- "Why switch to a cheap generic brand, when Morphine gives you relief for hours and hours and hours....."

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Garlic 'Does Not Cut Cholesterol'

- Report published by the Medical Vampires Association, House of Dracula in Transylvania

written by Moose&Squirell, 28 February 2007
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Virginia Lawmakers Issue Slavery Apology

- "Yeah, now that all the white people involved can't be sued because they're ALL dead."

written by Moose&Squirell, 26 February 2007
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Mirren Wins Oscar with "The Queen"

- Gay community stunned. Call her "Bitch!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 26 February 2007
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Welfare State Growing Despite Overhauls

- "Free monthly checks twice a month on a pre-loaded EBT credit card, Plus Free medical...I'll move there!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 26 February 2007
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Gore's "Inconvenient Truth" wins Oscar

- "Best Comedy in an Election Year, Produced by Fingers-Crossed Productions!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 26 February 2007


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