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U2 Members Deny They Wanted Sack Bono for Charity Work
"Sack him, yes. Not for charity work but anyone who dresses like him, has that haircut, wares those glasses and still thinks he's cool has to be a complete idiot." Said a spokesman
Ted Heath to be New Tory Leader?
"Look how popular Elvis has become since dying." Said Tory leader Michael Howrd. " Death could old Ted's best career move and work wonders for the popularity of the Tories!"
Manchester United Windows Broken
"We've got the Glasers in." Confirms Spokesman.
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