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Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Purple Girl.

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Social justice warrior can't change her hair color

Ever since Mandy Hater became a social justice warrior, her hair color has naturally become green, and hair dye no longer works. She'd pull it out in frustration, but it will only grow into a mohawk.

written by Purple Girl, 25 December 2017
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The NBA's Decision to Allow Space Aliens to Play Met with Opposition

An anonymous basketball player who refuses to speak on camera is allegedly saying, "I don't see why these slimy, 2-headed creatures are allowed to play. It's a wonder they let us black athletes play."

written by Purple Girl, 16 December 2017
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Activist's hair sets off geiger counter

After random citizens reported feeling sickened around a social justice warrior of unknown gender, health authorities decided to scan the activist. They found high radiation levels in zer green hair.

written by Purple Girl, 02 December 2017
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Rioters still defacing monuments

Rioters are demanding that all offensive monuments be removed in DC. They're calling Lady Liberty a green supremacist symbol, and calling the Washington Monument a white supremacist phallic symbol.

written by Purple Girl, 01 December 2017
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An Antifa member has lost something important

An unnamed Antifa member was quoted as saying, "I went to riot and beat up some fascists like the others, but now that it's over, I can't find my penis! My boyfriend won't care, but how can I pee?"

written by Purple Girl, 29 August 2017
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Woman with 10,000 Piercings Says She's Bored

Jennifer Hole lives up to her name. She has 10,000 holes which she has placed in her body over the years to be exact. She says that over the years, she has become increasingly bored.

written by Purple Girl, 11 June 2017
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Green immigrant with a work visa sues for discrimination

A green space visitor with no experience nor college is suing a major corporation over an alleged racist remark made during a job interview. The company said the applicant was too green for the job.

written by Purple Girl, 10 June 2017


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