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Showing snippets written by Mark.


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Thousands without power

as floods of migrants take energy workers jobs!

written by Mark, 05 February 2014
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Chicken factory robbery investigated

Police are taking the utmost care whilst searching the scene for clues. "Our constables are treading on eggshells while we carry out our investigation," said Chief Inspector Yolk.

written by Mark, 03 December 2010
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1 Trick to White Teeth

Dentists are afraid of letting this secret slip, but single mom discovers that brushing teeth thrice daily makes teeth brilliantly white!

written by Mark, 03 December 2010
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Is Acai Berry a Miracle Diet or an Internet Scam?

Hundreds shocked to hear that Acai Berry is actually a fruit.

written by Mark, 03 December 2010
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One secret to a sexy stomach

A mom discovers that keeping the truth from others helps you lose weight!

written by Mark, 03 December 2010
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Large thighs may protect heart

New research suggests that fat thighs can be used in an emergency to stop a speeding bullet.

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Lance Armstrong busts bike on environment charity ride.

Organisers insist he must re-cycle it.

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Competition to name the latest neck wear fashion reaches stalemate.

Organisers declared it a tie.

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Elton John helps world's oldest man blow out his birthday candles

"I knew I could do it with one big puff!"

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Rich Frog Prince Snuffs It

"I knew it wouldn't be long before he croaked," said his new Danish wife, Ms Elaine Goldigga (36-26-36).

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Potato princess' wedding plans quashed by father

Said the King of the Potato People: "I'm not having my child marry Gary Linekar - a lowly common tater!"

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Ironmonger makes world's largest spoon

"It's causing quite a stir," said factory owner, Ian Ronballs.

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Police investigate following murder at a wig factory

"We'll be combing the area for clues," commented PC Plod, head of the investigation.

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Police recover largest drugs haul ever

A spokesman commented: "Hey, that's not to be sniffed at!"

written by Mark, 04 September 2009
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Teeth Wonkening All-The-Rage

Americans, wishing to embrace their English heritage, are shunning the perfect teeth ideal and getting their teeth blacked up and pushed out of place so they can be more like their quaint cousins.

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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Man Fined After Buying Apples with Coupon

He came a cropper after giving one to his wife. "The coupon was clearly marked 'non-transferable'," the coupon issuer whined. "By using it to feed his wife, he was in breach of contract."

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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Source of all life on Earth found

A seriously mouldy coffee cup, believed to be over 4bn years old, was found in a crater in Mexico. Thought to be the origin of all life, it was inscribed with the words Mars University EarthCon'08.

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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Man climbs stairway to heaven

The man (83), with a penchant for death-metal music, sadly died of a heart attack at the top and had to walk back down again to get to hell. Poor bloke.

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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NASA Plans Livestock Farm on Moon

"Mating may be a bit of an issue," commented a NASA boffin. "With the low gravity, those sheep are gonna be much taller, and I don't think I'll be able to reach without a stool."

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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Man eats couch potato

A man has entered the record books after eating a 400lb couch potato. He had carved the 8ft by 6ft vegetable into a sofa for him and his family, but decided to eat it one day because he felt hungry.

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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Free Refills

A leading petroleum chain is offering its customers free refills at their stations. For as long as you stay on site, you can refill as often as you like!

written by Mark, 07 October 2008
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Britain Flood Update

It's still raining.

written by Mark, 01 July 2007
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Ann Summers Called Up

Sexy knicker chain Ann Summers has been hired by the British armed forces to boost morale in Iraq by hosting raunchy parties for recruits. Soldier's wives are said to be annoyed.

written by Mark, 17 April 2007
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Roxanne, You Left Your Red Light On!

In a bid to meet its carbon emissions target, The Netherlands have passed a new bill to supply its red light districts with energy efficient lighting.

written by Mark, 13 April 2007
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