Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Keith Shirey.Show all snippets.
Americans Extremely Confused About Intelligence
How is it that the CIA held valid intelligence on Russian election interference while the FBI actively spread rumors that weren't true?
written by Keith Shirey, 12 December 2016
Trump Manager Wants More Debates
Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump's campaign manager, said today she wants more debates because The Donald has "absolutely crushed Clinton in the 3 so far." Some think Kellyanne is an idiot.
Sex In America Down Because Of Trump
As one women put it, "The thought of having sex with my husband, a man, is horrifying after constantly hearing about Trump's sexual assults and abusive language about women."
Antony Weiner May Have Ejaculated On Computer
FBI agents who examined Antony Weiner's computer for information on whether he sexted a minor wore latex gloves when handling the computer it has been revealed. It was disgusting to touch it said one.
Little Kids Must Face Deportation Judge Alone
The Justice Department says there is no need to provide attorneys for little kids when facing deportation. "Being alone in front of a judge toughens them up," says a spokesman for the Department.
FBI Interferes In 2016 Election
Director Comey's releasing Antony Weiner's computer e-mail content which might threaten national security 11 days before election is just par for the course. See FBI Cointelpro operations.
Billy Bush, Anthony Weiner Determine Election Outcome
The videotape of Billy interviewing sexual assault Trump and Anthony Weiner's sextext investigation and finding that e-mails on his computer might jeopardize national security determine election.
Melania Says Campaign Interferes With Trophy Wife Duties
Ms. Trump said today that accusations of sexual assault against her husband were taking time from her shopping.
written by Keith Shirey, 18 October 2016
New Biography Out On Trump
Did you hear about the new Trump biography- titled DSM V?
written by Keith Shirey, 14 September 2016
Clinton Apologizes For Understating Trump's Bigoted Support
Hillary Clinton today apologized for saying only 1/2 of Trump Supporters were xenophoic, Sexist, and racist. "The number, survey show, is closer to 65%" the candidate said/
written by Keith Shirey, 13 September 2016
Trump's Great Achievement
Trump has done more to tarnish the image of America than all of the Isis and extremist Muslim propaganda.
written by Keith Shirey, 04 September 2016
Real Welfare Queens
States run by Republicans, states that voted against Obama in both elections rely on federal funding for a very high 34% of their total state budget although they say they hate the federal government.
Top North Korean Official Executed
Glorious leader Kim Jong-um had him killed because of "disrespectful posture" at a meeting. Officials are rushing to back surgeons to have steel rods implanted to force them to sit straight.
Gov. Paul LePage To Be OK
The governor, who is out of control, said today that he will hold his breath & not talk to the press or anyoneelse. "Good idea, said an opponent, "If he holds it long enough he might become sane.
The Wall Already Exists
Trump keeps talking about building a wall along the Mexican border, which the press keeps reporting. But there's enough wall now so Illegal entrants must cross through remote areas that kill many.
Obama Hit For Hypocracy
A white police cop roughed up Harvard prof, Henry Louis Gates & the Pres. said it was stupid but apologized. After he fired a black woman Shirley Sharrod who Brietbart lied about he wouldn't hire her.
written by Keith Shirey, 30 August 2016
Why GOP Denies Climate Change And Science
A new study cited in Psychology Today says that conservatives have a significantly lower IQ than liberals. "It comes down to brain structure and you can't change that," is a quote from the article.
Trump And Clinton Have Much In Common
They are the most disliked and distrusted pair of politicians ever to face each other in a U.S. presidential election.
Obama Aide David Plouffe Compliments Trump
" I know it's only kind of a left-hand compliment when I called him a psychopath," said Plouffe. But considering he's a sociopathic racist degenerate I was being nice."
LACK OF MONEY CUTS BACK ON SCIENCE CLASSES
Lack of money has cut back on science in schools. Those most effected are girls and blacks who can't get classes. "It's ok," said Ted Cruz Sen-Tx. "No one will hire black female scientists anyway."
written by Keith Shirey, 27 August 2016
Trump Raises Rent On Himself
Donald Trump jacked up the rent his campaign pays him as soon as the donations started rolling in. Who says he's not a business genius? Writes writer Wonkette.
written by Keith Shirey, 25 August 2016
Coulter, Beck, Limbaugh, & Guilliani on Chris Matthews
"Tomorrow," said Chris, I'll do a follow up when they empty the local
If You Want To Get A Vote You Have To Meet Voters
Trump won't go to urban areas and speak to black voters. It's a new campaign strategy: Avoid the communities where the voters are.
Trump Supporters Think He can Do No Wrong
After Trump reversed his position on immigration, saying that he'd let 99% stay, Trump followers said it was OK. "We always knew he can't tell the truth. So lying is ok," said one.