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Rock and Roll Hall of Shame
Ace Frehley played a concert with Kings of Leon and Queens of the Stone Age. They performed Jumping Jack Flash with only ten people in attendance. The concert was deemed a royal flush.
Super Search Engine Announced
In a show of online cooperation, the major search engines have agreed to create a "super" search engine called Bingoogyavista which will soon replace having to do any kind of actual thinking at all.
Morbidly Obese Praise New BK French Fries
Burger King's new 'Satisfries' low calorie French fries are being praised by morbidly obese people across the US. The new fries have 20% less calories, meaning they can eat 20% more fries than before.
Jersey Doctor Announces Zombies Are Real
A New Jersey doctor recently revealed that zombies are real and he has been married to one for 32 years. "She's a zombie all right, or maybe just brain dead," the man commented. "It's a shame."
Guiness Announces Partnership with Gillette
The fact that an estimated 93,000 liters of Guiness are lost each year in mustaches and beards prompted the company to partner with Gillette razors. The new slogan is Shave it Dear, Drink More Beer!
Billy Ray Cyrus Proud of His Daughter
In a recent interview, Billy Ray Cyrus explained his daughter's outrageous behavior with love. "Miley is like the catepillar that enters the cocoon and emerges as a beautiful slut."
Facebook Tells Users To Go F@#k Themselvs
Facebook, the well-known social media giant, announced that they would share their members personal information "any way, any time and with anyone we damn well please!"
Twin Brothers Argue Over Who Is the Evil Twin
Twin brothers Tim and Tom Sacks were overheard arguing over which of them was the 'evil' twin. Each claimed to be the most evil and agreed that their Mum could have decided if they hadn't killed her.
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