Showing snippets written by Moe Nightwalker.
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English Sheepdog at Westminster Show has been using combover for years
Donald T. Rump, the sheepdog, is apparently going bald but has been fooling judges for the last few years with his hair stylings. Also, his neckties are quite handsome.
Man ordering in Spanish at burrito place expecting free sour cream and guacamole
He's also asking every worker in the burrito assembly line how their day is going.
Climate Change Stabilizes After Old Gassy Dog Dies
Methane levels in the world have dropped significantly since Fido, age 16, passed away last month.
Dog struggling to find new response to "How was your day, Buddy?"
Buddy the dog always greets his owner with a wagging tail and smiling face, but has grown concerned that he needs to vary his response, based to the reality of his day and his activities.
God jokingly telling everyone who asks to run for 2016 GOP nomination
As He has done in past elections, God shows his sense of humor in his support of presidential candidates. "Late night tv comedians really depend on my endorsements", He said with a laugh.
College Football Playoff Group Demands Senate Seat, Cash
The newly established College Football Playoff org has informed Congressional representatives that it will require "at least one Senate seat, starting in Jan 2015" Also, each American owes them $100.
Dog News: Poodle in your kitchen pretty sure that sandwich you're making is for him
He's watching your every move, hoping for extra mayo and maybe some plain potato chips.
CNN in secret talks with hijackers to make flight go missing
"Anything to improve ratings" says CEO of CNN.
Tax Preparers Celebration Leads to Arrests
Celebrating the end of tax season, dozens of tax preparers and IRS employees gathered in the streets, drinking and screaming. Things got out of control and a riot started. Police arrested 14 people.
China Selects Expendable Mammal to Send to the Moon -- Foxcon Employee
It was a tough choice between a Foxcon employee and a corrupt communist.
Cheap Dad's Day Ruined By "Replace Water Filter" Light on Refrigerator
Cheap Dad's whole day took a wrong turn suddenly. While looking for a generic can of soda, he was heard saying, "Dammit, again? How long do those freakin $50 filters last? I'm sick of this."
New Fall Comedy Series Features Fat, Balding Wife And Hot, Younger Husband
She's dumb but means well. He's the smart one, but doesn't have a job. They both wear sweaters a lot and live in a nice house in a really expensive city. Her civil service job pays well apparently.
Newt Gingrich Makes Every Debate About Moon Bases On CNN's Crossfire
The former Congressman says he will not rest until the country commits to spending $5 trillion dollars to occupy the Moon.
Woman on Toilet Calls 911
A woman stuck without toilet paper is forced to call 911 for help. She explained to EMT's that her husband failed to replace it again.
Trim, Good-Looking 50ish Man Mysteriously Needs Viagra To Fix Broken Down Muscle Car
Seems like he used to be able to fix that car without the pills before, but he talked to his doctor about it. His doctor said he was healthy enough to perform light maintenance work.
Thick Skull Finally Penetrated
VP of $1B company finally heard suggestions and ideas from others. His wife and employees jointly announced the breakthrough today.
Mormons Upset That All The Good Jokes Are About Catholics And Jews
Mormons complain that they're not fairly represented in the world of jokes.
Life Coach Asks For Full Payment In Advance
Gus Adamson, a life coach from Manhattan, usually just wants to get the financial details out of the way with his clients. Then he can concentrate on being his best self.
Big Shot Executive Describes Everything As "Crisp" and "Spot On"
Executive Tom Steele requires "crisp" reports. His underlings hope to receive the "spot on" comment for a job well done. Everyone in the his organization is trying to use these key words more often.
Somehow "Grey's Anatomy" Starring Sandra Oh Is Not A Porno
Despite promising words from the cable guide, the show turned out to be some boring medical drama with no nudity or sex scenes.
Woman Who Enjoys Fondling Other Women Lands Dream Job At TSA
After a series of unsatisfying jobs in dog training and camping equipment sales, Michelle finally got a job with the TSA that allows her to touch women's private parts during the workday.
Wiliam Shatner Has Been Using Same Full Service Travel Agency Since 1969
Larry's List Price Travel in Burbank has been Mr. Shatner's go-to travel agent since his "Star Trek" days. Captain Kirk admits that he's never actually used a computer for anything.
Oprah Pays For Fries And Shake With Gold Bar At Zurich McDonalds
"I hope you have correct change. I want this delivered to my private jet at the airport," said the Queen of Talk.
500 Hp German Luxury Vehicle Parked With No Permit In Handicapped Spot
Everyone passing by just assumes that the driver simply left the permit in the glove box or something. And the vanity license plate is awesome too.
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