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Showing snippets written by Moe Nightwalker.


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English Sheepdog at Westminster Show has been using combover for years

Donald T. Rump, the sheepdog, is apparently going bald but has been fooling judges for the last few years with his hair stylings. Also, his neckties are quite handsome.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 13 February 2015
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Man ordering in Spanish at burrito place expecting free sour cream and guacamole

He's also asking every worker in the burrito assembly line how their day is going.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 12 February 2015
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Climate Change Stabilizes After Old Gassy Dog Dies

Methane levels in the world have dropped significantly since Fido, age 16, passed away last month.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 28 January 2015
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Dog struggling to find new response to "How was your day, Buddy?"

Buddy the dog always greets his owner with a wagging tail and smiling face, but has grown concerned that he needs to vary his response, based to the reality of his day and his activities.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 25 December 2014
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God jokingly telling everyone who asks to run for 2016 GOP nomination

As He has done in past elections, God shows his sense of humor in his support of presidential candidates. "Late night tv comedians really depend on my endorsements", He said with a laugh.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 07 October 2014
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College Football Playoff Group Demands Senate Seat, Cash

The newly established College Football Playoff org has informed Congressional representatives that it will require "at least one Senate seat, starting in Jan 2015" Also, each American owes them $100.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 04 September 2014
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Dog News: Poodle in your kitchen pretty sure that sandwich you're making is for him

He's watching your every move, hoping for extra mayo and maybe some plain potato chips.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 22 August 2014
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CNN in secret talks with hijackers to make flight go missing

"Anything to improve ratings" says CEO of CNN.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 15 May 2014
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Tax Preparers Celebration Leads to Arrests

Celebrating the end of tax season, dozens of tax preparers and IRS employees gathered in the streets, drinking and screaming. Things got out of control and a riot started. Police arrested 14 people.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 16 April 2014
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China Selects Expendable Mammal to Send to the Moon -- Foxcon Employee

It was a tough choice between a Foxcon employee and a corrupt communist.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 17 December 2013
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Cheap Dad's Day Ruined By "Replace Water Filter" Light on Refrigerator

Cheap Dad's whole day took a wrong turn suddenly. While looking for a generic can of soda, he was heard saying, "Dammit, again? How long do those freakin $50 filters last? I'm sick of this."

written by Moe Nightwalker, 21 September 2013
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New Fall Comedy Series Features Fat, Balding Wife And Hot, Younger Husband

She's dumb but means well. He's the smart one, but doesn't have a job. They both wear sweaters a lot and live in a nice house in a really expensive city. Her civil service job pays well apparently.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 14 September 2013
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Newt Gingrich Makes Every Debate About Moon Bases On CNN's Crossfire

The former Congressman says he will not rest until the country commits to spending $5 trillion dollars to occupy the Moon.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 10 September 2013
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Woman on Toilet Calls 911

A woman stuck without toilet paper is forced to call 911 for help. She explained to EMT's that her husband failed to replace it again.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 08 September 2013
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Trim, Good-Looking 50ish Man Mysteriously Needs Viagra To Fix Broken Down Muscle Car

Seems like he used to be able to fix that car without the pills before, but he talked to his doctor about it. His doctor said he was healthy enough to perform light maintenance work.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 06 September 2013
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Thick Skull Finally Penetrated

VP of $1B company finally heard suggestions and ideas from others. His wife and employees jointly announced the breakthrough today.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 06 September 2013
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Mormons Upset That All The Good Jokes Are About Catholics And Jews

Mormons complain that they're not fairly represented in the world of jokes.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 05 September 2013
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Life Coach Asks For Full Payment In Advance

Gus Adamson, a life coach from Manhattan, usually just wants to get the financial details out of the way with his clients. Then he can concentrate on being his best self.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 03 September 2013
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Big Shot Executive Describes Everything As "Crisp" and "Spot On"

Executive Tom Steele requires "crisp" reports. His underlings hope to receive the "spot on" comment for a job well done. Everyone in the his organization is trying to use these key words more often.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 31 August 2013
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Somehow "Grey's Anatomy" Starring Sandra Oh Is Not A Porno

Despite promising words from the cable guide, the show turned out to be some boring medical drama with no nudity or sex scenes.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 30 August 2013
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Woman Who Enjoys Fondling Other Women Lands Dream Job At TSA

After a series of unsatisfying jobs in dog training and camping equipment sales, Michelle finally got a job with the TSA that allows her to touch women's private parts during the workday.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 29 August 2013
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Wiliam Shatner Has Been Using Same Full Service Travel Agency Since 1969

Larry's List Price Travel in Burbank has been Mr. Shatner's go-to travel agent since his "Star Trek" days. Captain Kirk admits that he's never actually used a computer for anything.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 15 August 2013
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Oprah Pays For Fries And Shake With Gold Bar At Zurich McDonalds

"I hope you have correct change. I want this delivered to my private jet at the airport," said the Queen of Talk.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 12 August 2013
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500 Hp German Luxury Vehicle Parked With No Permit In Handicapped Spot

Everyone passing by just assumes that the driver simply left the permit in the glove box or something. And the vanity license plate is awesome too.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 12 August 2013
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