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Scientific Testing Proves:

Fox News does make you stupid.

written by The Ruling Authority, 29 August 2014
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Political Survey of Heaven

Of the seven registered voters from America who died and went to heaven last year, five were Democrats and two were Republicans. No independent voters were admitted past the pearly gates.

written by The Ruling Authority, 08 August 2014
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GOP Reverses Stance on Global Warming

Republicans blame Obama for imminent crisis.

written by The Ruling Authority, 15 July 2014
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Don't feel bad.

You may be outside looking in, but oftentimes you're looking in at a snake pit.

written by The Ruling Authority, 18 June 2014
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Congress investigates itself . . .

. . . in regard to failings in V.A. system, finds no fault.

written by The Ruling Authority, 15 June 2014
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Watching Today's News...

Power corrupts; Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Apparently, it also makes you stupid.

written by The Ruling Authority, 25 March 2014
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Giant Cable Merger

Economist agree that the merger of Comcast and Time-Warner will result in dramatically reduced costs for subscribers. (Ha, ha. Just kidding.)

written by The Ruling Authority, 05 March 2014
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Psychiatric Cure Claimed

Remedy for political impotence (aka: one man,one vote) said to be spoof writing. Critics say it's just the placebo effect.

written by The Ruling Authority, 23 January 2014
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Unusual Medical Incident

New England man treated this week for simultaneous frostbite and scalding after holding mug of hot coffee bare-handed in below zero weather.

written by The Ruling Authority, 23 January 2014
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'Fist Bump' Now Acceptable

White folk in Utah are using it. The gesture is still suspiciously racially charged when used by Mr. and Mrs. Obama.

written by The Ruling Authority, 21 January 2014
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New Book Published

'Soil Aeration and Composting' by co-authors Anna Lidd and Eartha Wurme

written by The Ruling Authority, 27 December 2013
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Dems Employ Reverse-Psychology Strategy

They put forth the opposite of what they really want in hopes that knee-jerk Repubs follow their standard operating principles and go the other way.

written by The Ruling Authority, 19 December 2013
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U.S. Dogs Protest Time Change

Do not understand why they should have to eat one hour later on Standard Time.

written by The Ruling Authority, 03 November 2013
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Pathologist Disects Republican Congressman

Finds enlarged spleen, liver. Heart unaccountably missing. Brain abnormal.

written by The Ruling Authority, 17 October 2013
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Republicans Foreclose on Government

Plan to short-sell stocks, make a bundle when the market crashes.

written by The Ruling Authority, 09 October 2013
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Obama Nominates King Solomon to Supreme Court

Republicans block appointment in Senate, say Solomon too liberal.

written by The Ruling Authority, 09 October 2013
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When Ted Cruz Smiles

Picture the smile of accomplishment of a six-month old boy who just deposited a load in his diaper . . .

written by The Ruling Authority, 07 October 2013
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Republicans to Take Toys, Go Home

After 40 failed attempts to defund Obamacare, House Republicans intend to shut down the government, stick out tongues, and say, "Nyah, nyah, nyah".

written by The Ruling Authority, 20 September 2013
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'Safe Sex' is an Oxymoron

Beware! All sex is inherently risky! Unforeseen consequences abound!

written by The Ruling Authority, 13 September 2013
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In Bizarro-World News Today:

Syria has no chemical weapons and never used them, but is willing to turn them over anyways.

written by The Ruling Authority, 11 September 2013
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Question

Why do they call it a tattoo 'parlor'? Why not a den, or a rec room?

written by The Ruling Authority, 15 August 2013
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Book Banned!

"The Boy's Big Book of Homemade Explosives" has been pulled from middle-school shelves on the grounds of being sexist literature.

written by The Ruling Authority, 01 August 2013
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Last Reporter With Balls Passes Away

When other White House reporters eagerly licked factoid tidbits from the fingers of administration flacks, Helen Thomas was required to wear a sign around her neck that said "Do Not Hand Feed".

written by The Ruling Authority, 22 July 2013
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Pharmaceutical Company Sets New Record!

Tryurluc, the new FDA-approved drug from Dicecast Industries has 784 potential side effects, 50 percent of which have proven fatal in clinical testing.

written by The Ruling Authority, 15 July 2013
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