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Republicans Denounce Satan ...
... But vow to support him if he gets the nomination.
Trump has no need of prayer . . .
. . . says he can talk to himself anytime he wants to.
How do you pick a candidate . . .
. . . for what is perhaps the worst job in the nation, when actually wanting the job may be the major disqualification for getting it?
Billion Dollar Treasure Ship Found Off Colombia
Spain claims ownership based on legal principle of 'We stole it first.'
Word Etymology #2
from the Latin 'fundament',meaning buttocks and 'ist', meaning 'one who thinks with'.
Word Etymology #1
Early 16th century corruption of idiocy. Orig. from Gaelic idjit.
Obama Outsources Legislative Branch To Mumbai Management Firm
The administration has high hopes for successful governance. Congress, deeply involved with itself, has not noticed the change.
Giant Hairbag Recall
The recently announced recall of 7.8 million defective hairbags is certain to cast a shadow on the results of the latest national elections.
Stringent Voter I.D. Laws
Clever magician's trick of misdirection as to where election fraud is actually taking place this year...
Scientific Testing Proves:
Fox News does make you stupid.
Political Survey of Heaven
Of the seven registered voters from America who died and went to heaven last year, five were Democrats and two were Republicans. No independent voters were admitted past the pearly gates.
GOP Reverses Stance on Global Warming
Republicans blame Obama for imminent crisis.
Don't feel bad.
You may be outside looking in, but oftentimes you're looking in at a snake pit.
Congress investigates itself . . .
. . . in regard to failings in V.A. system, finds no fault.
Watching Today's News...
Power corrupts; Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Apparently, it also makes you stupid.
Giant Cable Merger
Economist agree that the merger of Comcast and Time-Warner will result in dramatically reduced costs for subscribers. (Ha, ha. Just kidding.)
Psychiatric Cure Claimed
Remedy for political impotence (aka: one man,one vote) said to be spoof writing. Critics say it's just the placebo effect.
Unusual Medical Incident
New England man treated this week for simultaneous frostbite and scalding after holding mug of hot coffee bare-handed in below zero weather.
'Fist Bump' Now Acceptable
White folk in Utah are using it. The gesture is still suspiciously racially charged when used by Mr. and Mrs. Obama.
New Book Published
'Soil Aeration and Composting' by co-authors Anna Lidd and Eartha Wurme
Dems Employ Reverse-Psychology Strategy
They put forth the opposite of what they really want in hopes that knee-jerk Repubs follow their standard operating principles and go the other way.
U.S. Dogs Protest Time Change
Do not understand why they should have to eat one hour later on Standard Time.
Pathologist Disects Republican Congressman
Finds enlarged spleen, liver. Heart unaccountably missing. Brain abnormal.
Republicans Foreclose on Government
Plan to short-sell stocks, make a bundle when the market crashes.
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