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"You mean it wasn't a spoof?" an incredulous Romney exclaims
Some saboteur gave Mitt Romney the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," telling him that it was a hilarious satire. Mitt giggled his way through it, and has been losing friends ever since.
Romney favors a one-state solution: The United World of America
After saying a two-state solution between Israel and the Palestinians is impossible, Romney said the whole world should be America. "Everyone knows we're the best. They love us. They want to be us."
NOW who wants to die for his country?
Pentagon officials, weary of competing with Al Qaeda's promise of 72 virgins for its "martyrs," is offering 75 experienced, high-class hookers (who died tragically young) to its new recruits.
Black + White = Gray. Romney Is Not Amused
When Romney was asked about "Fifty Shades of Grey," he retorted, "I knew a black presidency would lead to massive race mixing. Not that there's anything wrong with that -- it's just not natural."
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