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Bad news, Good news
Tragic News, Boffins issue red meat warning. Exploding rectum a real possibility say experts. On the upside, Mr Cameron is having steak dinner with American fella.
Beckham milk shortage
Unsubstantiated rumour has it, Vicky's glum face at awards hoedown due entirely to thick husband.
David seemingly nipped out for a pint of milk and inexplicably came back with a new motorbike!.
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