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Pot calling the kettle non-white
BO today on Romney: They look at the other guy and say, "Well, that's a bullshitter." Very classy, Mr. soon-to-be-former President.
Dog bites dog
Dear Leader: It has now been confirmed - it's a dog eat dog world out there. You clearly bark up the wrong tree. Time to stop humpin O'Care 'cause that dog just won't hunt !
Hillary Cuts Loose on Columbian Dancefloor
Mrs. Clinton guzzled a large volume of aguardiente, the same Columbian elixir that befell 11 Secret Service agents. Her last whereabouts are unknown. Hotels are being searched citywide.
Kim Jong-un Takes Positon in Pfizer
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un announced today that his country is taking a major position in Pfizer Inc. He has directed his rocket scientists to fuel their next rocket with Viagara.
A Topsy Turvey World
Progressives would have us believe that right is wrong, up is down, black is white, in is out, etc. Their latest defamation? Obama is Reagen!!!
Obama Comments on the Titanic
Commenting on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's sinking, The One said "I always loved that story. As a kid I'd dream of being a captain and going down in glory with the ship."
Obama shows no mercy
160 million Americans (42%) sickened by prospect of government controlled health care; Obama actively lobbies against known cure.
Obama to Apologize for Master's win
"We may take pride in Bubba Watson's win of the Master's tournament, but let's be clear. This a only game of luck, and not a measure of American virtue.
BO digs in
Mr Obama and Gary the Groundhog will have a celerity dig-off tomorrow at East Bumrock park. Odds-makers favor the One, who proved his excavation prowess with Monday digs on SCOTUS.
5th circuit judge assigns DOJ homework
BO's comments on Supreme Court right to strike laws raise judiciary hackles. BO is given pointy yellow dunce cap and told to sit in corner.
Mitt is stiff
Anne Romney says "just wait until we unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out, you'll see he is not". Michele replied, "stop complaining you lucky girl. My Barry is so not-stiff its ridiculous."
Swallows second foot during interview. Doctors say limited mobility could return if one or both feet pass, but he will be dwarf-sized and likely walk backwards.
Children Worldwide Are Disappointed
Disney Studios has now confirmed it to be true: Peter Pan was a cross-dresser.
The most Rev Al Sharpton has been rebuked for his race-baiting tactics in the Trayvon Martin affair by Anton LaVey, leader of Sharpton's religion, The Church of Satan
Green Peace: Whale Population Endangered
New Chevy oil-burner taking toll; Obama blames Bush.
Kagan Responds To Charge of Stupidity
"Know I'm knot"
Biden mis-speaks (again)
Today VP Biden referred to Iowa Scott Community College President Dr. Theresa Paper as "Dr. Pepper." When told that he called her the wrong name, he said "my apologies to Mrs. Pibb."
Kagan Dumb as a Rock
Justice Kagen either favors overturn of O'Care or she is unbelievably STUPID. "How can you object to a boatload of free government money" she asked in a laughable attempt to justify the "act".
The Supremes Deliberate O'Care
Concerned citizens sense SCOTUS to scuttle socialist strategy. Duped dependents defiantly demand free dispensations. Pundits prophesy provision's pitfalls. President piddles as Court ponders purpose.
Santorum Would Not Deny Contraception
"I absolutely encourage all liberals to use as much contraception as possible"
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