Showing snippets written by David Grant.

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Miserable Les

Mr Les Miserable is very unhappy due to thousands of people phoning him each week to book tickets. He plans to ban phone-booking and has teamed up with a fellow Irish-Asian victim, Mr Raith O'Kahn.

written by David Grant, 07 April 2014

Revolution Against "Evolution"

Car designers are striking over adverts that feature the word "evolution" when referring to their latest creations. They want the credit and claim, "In the beginning was a blank sheet of paper."

written by David Grant, 10 October 2013

Alzheimer's Breakthrough Latest

The scientist who discovered a chemical cure for Alzheimer's disease has forgotten where he put the formula.

written by David Grant, 10 October 2013

Word Up

Emily Dreamworld has been named Britain's top social worker for using the word "Disenfranchised" more than anyone else in the nation.

written by David Grant, 14 June 2013

Statistically Significant

6 out of every 10 Americans say that they don't take part in surveys.

written by David Grant, 23 May 2013

Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

written by David Grant, 18 May 2013

Memory-Man Banned From Bookstore

A man with a photographic memory has been stopped from browsing in branches of Snarbes & Bonles. Apparently he was recalling the books at home without paying for them.

written by David Grant, 30 November 2012

A Level Exams Get Tougher

Writing your name correctly on an A level exam paper will now only achieve a 90% score.

written by David Grant, 15 March 2012

The Tobacco Empire Strikes Back

Research funded by tobacco companies has proved that no smoker living past one hundred years of age has ever complained of ill health due to smoking.

written by David Grant, 22 February 2012
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