Showing snippets written by David Grant.
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Mr Les Miserable is very unhappy due to thousands of people phoning him each week to book tickets. He plans to ban phone-booking and has teamed up with a fellow Irish-Asian victim, Mr Raith O'Kahn.
Revolution Against "Evolution"
Car designers are striking over adverts that feature the word "evolution" when referring to their latest creations. They want the credit and claim, "In the beginning was a blank sheet of paper."
Alzheimer's Breakthrough Latest
The scientist who discovered a chemical cure for Alzheimer's disease has forgotten where he put the formula.
Emily Dreamworld has been named Britain's top social worker for using the word "Disenfranchised" more than anyone else in the nation.
6 out of every 10 Americans say that they don't take part in surveys.
Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast
Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.
Memory-Man Banned From Bookstore
A man with a photographic memory has been stopped from browsing in branches of Snarbes & Bonles. Apparently he was recalling the books at home without paying for them.
A Level Exams Get Tougher
Writing your name correctly on an A level exam paper will now only achieve a 90% score.
The Tobacco Empire Strikes Back
Research funded by tobacco companies has proved that no smoker living past one hundred years of age has ever complained of ill health due to smoking.
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