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President Obama On Board Air Force 1 - Heading To Beverly Hills

Whitney Houston died in the Beverly Hill hotel, suspected cause of death is a drug overdose. Obama reportedly going to put his hands on her and bring her back to life. The Catholic Pope has doubts.

written by Jack Goff, 12 February 2012
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Congress To Ban Negativity From Daily Lives

In an effort bring meanness to an end congress has ban all negativity. Scientists claim this would disrupt physics as we know it because about 1/3rd of all matter has a negative charge.

written by Jack Goff, 10 February 2012
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McDonald's McNugget Sales Down By 50% Last Quarter

In an effort to boost sales of the once popular McNugget, McDonald's has spent nearly $100,000 in the development of their new Tuna Flavored Dipping Sauce.

written by Jack Goff, 09 February 2012
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Mitt Romney Announces Running Mate Choice

Republican nominee has said if he wins the nomination Jimmy Carter will be his Vice President. Reportedly the republican base is disenchanted while the democrat base is confused about who to vote for.

written by Jack Goff, 08 February 2012
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National Tanning Salon Chain - Going Green

Sun Tan City, a tanning salon chain has installed solar voltaic panels on the roofs of all their salons. A spokesman says, "Now we are truly harnessing the power of the sun in our tanning machines."

written by Jack Goff, 07 February 2012
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The Invisible Man Sues Superman

The Invisible Man is suing Superman after he allegedly burned his clothes of with his laser eyes. The Invisible Man claims to suffer from emotional trauma after being left in public completely naked.

written by Jack Goff, 07 February 2012
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Nascar: DRIVE4COPD 300 - Race Cars To Be Replaced By Turtles

The 120 lap 300 mile race at Daytona is to be held 2/25/2012. Race completion and winner suspected to be announced sometime in 2014. Kyle Busch protested by crying and holding his breath.

written by Jack Goff, 06 February 2012
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Police To Start Using A New Less Than Less Lethal Weapon

Due to accusations of police brutality cops are now equipped with turkey feathers. Tests have shown that criminals if tickled submit to officers because they can't breath through their laughter.

written by Jack Goff, 06 February 2012
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Mentos And Diet Coke - Lockheed Martin Colaboration

F-22s are now going green. They will no longer contribute to climate change because their engines are being replaced with large Coke bottles. To throttle up the pilot releases mentos into the bottle.

written by Jack Goff, 06 February 2012
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Disney To Build A Roller Coaster To Mimic The US National Debt

Disney has hired Stengel Engineering to design a coaster to educate park visitors on the size of the National Debt. Skeptics say the ride won't be any fun being that it only goes and never comes down.

written by Jack Goff, 06 February 2012
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Political Experiment - Unexpected Results

An Indiana couple, 1 republican and 1 democrate, give birth to a libertarian. Many Constitutionalists like Ron Paul think this might be the key for getting this country back on track.

written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
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Man Starves To Death On McDonald's Diet

Michael Moore, film producer died while creating a film about the new McDonald's diet. He claimed to be able to eat as much as he liked and still lose weight. Autopsy reveals he had a giant tapeworm.

written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
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Man Almost Killed Then Saved By Spoof Snippet

Jack Geoff, a KY. man read a funny snippet on spoof and choked on a hotdog. Because of his quick thinking he read another snippet and laughed up the hotdog and then took a deep breath, avoiding death.

written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
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People Cheer Obama For Saying The Truth

Hacker group Anonymous hacked into the Whitehouse teleprompter program and replaced all the lies with the truth. Witnesses said Mrs. Obama stated, "For the First Time in My Life, I'm Proud of My Man"

written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
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Green Cars And Dumb People

Betty, an Alabama woman is suing General Motors. She accuses them of making her feel stupid because of the way the Chevy Volt hides the gas cap each time she stops at the gas station.

written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
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