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Fran wins Great British Bake-Off
She now qualifies for next seasons Great European Bake-Off
Arsenal 1 Borussia Dortmund 2
Germans invade London - again!
Retired Scottish ex-football manager writes book
In between playing crown green bowling and drinking super Tennants in the park.
Nigel Clough appointed new Sheffield United manager
First choice Brian Clough was unavailable.
Sven Gorran-Errikson puts himself forward for the England womens team job
"I have watched them play and they are very - how you say - very talented" said the bespectacled Swedish coach.
John Terry has offered to help with the coaching.
Billy Ray Cyrus pulls out of tv appearance
Apparently his daughter Mileys performance at the MTV awards, where she 'twerked' Robin Bulge, sorry Robin Thicke, is rumoured to have broken Billy Rays achy breaky heart.
England rollover Moldova
England beat Moldova 4-0 with goals from Gerrard, Lambert and 2 from Danny Wellbeck. Rickie Lambert scored his second international goal, making him the highest scoring cigarette brand for England.
FA Chairman Greg Dyke calls for England to win World Cup
in 2022. In Quatar. In searing hot heat. Even though England can't win the tournament in Europe, or Africa, or South America. Maybe by 2022 we'll have learnt to score all five penalties.
Arsene Wenger linked with three Transfer Deadline signings
1. A ghost
2. The invisible man
3. A.trialist (from Scotland - always scores goals)
Transfer Deadline Day Latest (4)
New Manchester United boss David Moyes has scoured the world and beyond in pursuit of transfer targets, and has found Leighton Baines and Mauroune Fellaini - down the road at his old club Everton.
Roberto Soldado is the new Gareth Bale
New Tottenham Codspur striker Roberto Soldado has promised to learn Welsh, grow facial hair and trademark his 'heart' goal celebration so Spurs fans do not miss Gareth Bale
Transfer Deadline Day Latest (3)
Wayne Rooney, Peter Odemwingie, Mesut Ozil and Luis Suarez all stuck in revolving door.
Harry Redknapp, Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho rush to assistance.
More as we get it.
Transfer Deadline Day Latest (2)
78 year old Jimmy Greaves has announced he is coming out of retirement and is available to play for former clubs Tottenham Hotspur, Chelsea, West Ham, or anyone else prepared to pay him a million quid
Transfer Deadline Day Latest (1)
West Brom's want-away striker Peter Odemwingie has been turned away from Real Madrid car park gates after driving all the way from the West Midlands.
Gareth Bale becomes overnight superstar after move to Madrid
Rumours he's lined to marry Catherine Zeta-Jones have been played down. He was seen in the local chippy with Tom Jones on Friday though.
Gareth Bale learns Spanish ahead of move to Madrid
It will come in handy when he needs to ask for a transfer back to Merthyr Tydfil!
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt could pocket £15 million...
From sale of Hotcourse, the company he co-founded.
You could say he's in rude health. Or you could be really rude by rhyming his surname with another word.
"WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH"
Following an appeal on twitter, a Blackpool based Under 15 football team have got a new sponsor - the Tripe Marketing Board
England 3-2 win over Scotland reclassified as 'defeat'
If a bunch of Premier League multi-millionaires can only beat a pub team by 1 goal then it's not really a 'win' is it?
NUTS feel the pinch as magazine sales drop.
Sounds painful. A bit like that time that Vinnie Jones grabbed Gazza by 'em...
Dave Lee Travis charged with 12 sexual offences.
And one additional charge of an exposed hairy cornflake.
Crystal Palace set new football record.
Crystal Palace have officially been relegated from the Premier League without kicking a ball, according to all newspaper previews of the season which starts this weekend.
A level average set to drop.
Next year they will be known as B levels.
Petrol price could fall 2p after bank holiday
Don't spend it all at once!
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