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SKY'S ONLY 2011 NEW CUSTOMER IS VERY ANGRY!
Mr.S.Oftgit,Sky's only new customer in 2011 said,"I had it installed for Christmas. What's with all the adverts? I never thought they would charge me to watch bleeding adverts, I am very angry!"
B.B.C Cancel Christmas Day Episode of EastEnders.
The BBC has cancelled their scheduled Christmas broadcast of EastEnders. Apparently an extra can be seen smiling in a shot and the scene can't be cut or re-done as members of the cast are in rehab.
B.B.C. ADMIT THEIR NEW HOME PAGE WAS DESIGNED BY 5-YEAR OLDS
A spokesperson said,"Yes, but in our defence we did not use just any 5-year olds, we gave 20, 5-year old chimpanzees an Argos catalogue and an 'Etch o Sketch' each. We like what they came up with."
NHS buy new emergency vehicles
The sharp increase predicted this Christmas in the consumption of Brussels Spouts has prompted the NHS to purchase special 'Flatulances' in which to speed victims of overindulgence to hospital.
Fish & Chips to be sold by weight
Ugly Conservative MPs to force in new law in a bid to stop girl assistants in Chippies giving good looking young men larger portions than they themselves are served.
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