Spoof Snippets
Showing snippets written by Backandtotheleft.
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That Strange Smell
A study has found that customers spend 20% more time in shops that smell of oranges but 80% less time in ones that smell of shit.
The Smiths Suck
Johnny Marr from The Smiths inspired a generation of musicians...to shoot themselves in the head.
Burn Jimmy Burn!
Jimmy Saviles nephew wants the council to burn his body. Now then, now then let's not get too far ahead here.
License To Look Stylish
Teenagers are to recruited by MI5 to become the next James Bonds. That's exactly what we need, a load of One Direction lookalikes with a license to kill.
Outrageous Argies
A top British diplomat called the Argentineans "Gay and Cowards" and he's in trouble. If he'd used the words "cheating, bastards" he'd get a medal.
Single Song
Tulisa's new single is called "Sight Of You" missing the words "Sick and the" I think.
A Penny For Your Thoughts And A Pound For Your Pants
Mums are now the main bread winners in 25% of British homes. On a different note prostitution is on the rise all over England.
Happy Meal Horror
A 5month year old boy was left behind on a table in a McDonald's restaurant in America. The mother obviously preferred the toy she got in the Happy meal.
Bull Beer
A beer made out of bulls testicles will go on sale in the US. Better than one made out of Bull shit I suppose.
A Coast Call
A tourist who dropped his I-Phone between rocks at the beach rang the Coastguard. Didn't realize voice activated control was so advanced.
Boris V Cameron
Boris Johnson said he might make a better PM that Cameron. Right now a dead squirrel on a stick would be a better PM than Cameron.
Job Woe
A global firm has said 9-5 jobs will be extinct within twenty five years. If they took a look at the job centre they'd know they were extinct now.
In Red Eds Head
19% of people think Ed Milliband is a strong leader and 81% of us think he's a backstabbing, power hungry shit who took his own brother out.
In Red Eds Head
19% of people think Ed Milliband is a strong leader and 81% of us think he's a backstabbing, power hungry shit who took his own brother out.
Loss of the Lawyers
Millions of pounds of British aid is being squandered on lawyer's fees. Many MPs sons are lawyers but this is completely co-incidental.
"Wheel Risk"
Research has found that texting while driving is the "top risk" at the wheel. Nah it's probably blowjobs a risk but a risk worth taking.
Nicks Knackered
Nick Clegg has apologized over not keeping pre election promises. Don't worry Nick nobody expected you too.
Occupy London
Unions say that public buildings should be occupied! Good idea let's give the staff their jobs back.
The Crying Game
Experts say sex may have a previously unknown affect on women's bodies. All I know is it makes my partners cry.
Children Of The Crown
Prince William has said he wants to have two children….one for weekdays and one for Sunday best.
Anti-Aircraft-Cameron
David Cameron will allow people to build what they want in their back gardens without planning permission. Three words. Anti-Aircraft-Gun!
Bubonic Burgers
A US girl who has caught the bubonic plague got it off a dead squirrel. Dam Americans they'll eat anything.
Cancer Cure
A mystery trigger in modern living has caused a surge in cancer cases. Yeah it's called "not blaming illness of demons"
Clegg Cops Out
Nick Clegg might be ousted by the Lib Dems! To be fair he's a bloke who would struggle to get an invite to his own birthday party.
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