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Chavez Jokes Cut Short by People Not Knowing Who He Is
The internet today struggled to make jokes about the death of Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez due to not knowing who he is. "Hu-gone?" said one commenter, scratching his neckbeard. "I don't have a clue"
Pope Condemns Nazis, Jews
Benedict XVII has issued a statement saying that most Nazis are almost certainly "in Hell". "Unfortunately", he adds, "that's where all the Jews are too, for not seeing how perfect and cool I am."
Eiffel Tower Struck by Lightning
During a storm in Paris today, the Eiffel tower was struck by a bolt of lightning. Sales of white flags in the country have gone up 5000%.
US Neo-Nazi Skinheads Re-Think Views
"If you think about it, a bunch of redneck, drunken hillbillies probably wouldn't have fit into Hitler's whole "Master Race" thing." says one. "He probably would've killed us and stuff, I guess."
Old People Ain't What They Used to Be, Claim Young
The youths of today have issued a statement saying old people these days are "too cranky, spit tobacco too much, talk about the "olden days" too much, smell funny and don't have enough war stories".
Dogs vs Cats War Intensifies
Dog soldiers have broken the Catatonic border tonight in an effort to reach the capital Kitteni. War broke out last week when the Daschundian Archduke Fido Ferdinand was assassinated in Catajevo.
"Don't Forget About Me", Urges Donald Trump
Donald Trump has issued a statement pruporting he should be in the news more often. "I'm a really, really, really rich and handsome guy. People should talk about me!"
Irish Agriculture Minister Issues Warning
Ireland's Agriculture Minister has issued an advisory notice to the Irish people to perhaps finally find a replacement for potatoes. "Maybe fish or beans or something", he was quoted as saying.
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