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Stevie Wonder Files for Divorce
Stevie Wonder filed for divorce. According to reports, he and his wife didn't see eye to eye.
Tom Cruise Scouts NYC Pads
Tom Cruise scouts NYC pads. However he's having a hard time deciding between extra absorbant night time pads and regular.
Rapper Ice T Makes Documentary
Ice T Makes a hip hop documentary. His studio will offer two versions: sweet and unsweet.
Olympic Flame Finally Arrives in London
The Olympic flame arrives in London. Organizers realize too late that it arrived too late for the rioting qualifications.
Spam Server Shuts Down
Major spam server shuts down. Millions of confused Monty Python fans are very upset.
Rupert Murdock Quits
Rupert Murdock quits board of British newspapers. He will instead invest in surfboards.
Studies Show 80% of People Watch Sports On-Line This Summer
80% of people watching sports this summer will do so on-line. 100% of those people will do so after watching on-line porn.
Man With Bizarre Anatomy has Run-In with TSA
Man with bizarre anatomy has run-in with TSA. TSA was shocked to discover it really was just a banana in his pocket.
The Moon to be 51st State
After hearing Newt Gingrich's comments the other day, the US is prepared to colonize the moon thus making it the 51st state in the Union.
Yeti Lobster Terrorizes Cats
The Yeti Lobster has resurfaced in Key West only to terrorize the cats residing at the Hemingway House.
Humbug Fish Currency Project to Begin
In time for Christmas, the US Treasury Department approves of using the Humbug Fish instead of the $5.00 bill.
Celebrity Chefs Confused with Pizzas new Status
Celebrity Chefs are baffled as to why Congress proclaims pizza is a vegetable when it clearly should be classified as cardboard.
Pizza is Now a Vegetable
After Congress votes that pizza is now a vegetable for school lunches, pizza is upset because kids tend not to like vegetables.
Fruit Lobby Prepares to Protest Ruling
The fruit lobby is upset that pizza is considered a vegetable in US schools. "It should be a fruit. Tomatoes are actually fruit."
The Statue of Liberty will Party Like it's 1999
The Statue of Liberty is upset as news spreads that the bust of Winston Churchill will not be at her party.
The US will Introduce Fish as Currency
Beginning next fall, the US Treasury Department will begin using mackerel as currency.
Syria vs Libya
Syria and Libya are different for many reasons. Their names are spelled differently, for one.
America's Blood Supply Infected
As parasites invade the US blood supply, America's blood banks freak out. The Vampire population, however, remain complacent.
iSpoof App left at local bar
An unnamed Spoof reported reportedly left the recently reviewed yet not released iSpoof App at a bar.
Iran Outlaws Playing with Slinkies
Just days after outlawing playing with water guns, Iranian officials have decided to outlaw slinkies as well. Iranian lawmakes obviously don't know it's the best of the toys.
Newest Dummies book is Hugely Popular in Libya
IDG books states they are pleased that their recently published How to Run a Country For Dummies is flying off the shelves in Libya.
Rioting To Be Introduced as a Sport in 2012 Olympics
Olympic organizers in London have decided, upon the police not being able to effectively control the youth in the UK, to just have rioting be an Olympic sport.
The US shakes its head at the S&P Downgrade
The White House now regrets not switching to the rechargeable AAA rating.
Scientists Make Discovery About Antimatter Belt
Scientists discover that the antimatter belt surrounding Earth is actually made of lamb skin.
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