Showing snippets written by the edgy gerbil.
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Explosion in herb factory!!
Man gets herbs blown in his eyes by the blast!!
Doctors say "He will probably be ok, but he will be parsley sighted"
The dog's nuts, they're not all that great actually.
After many many years of carefull and clever marketing, I can at long last say that I CAN believe it's not butter.
New cop drama to air
Writing has just been completed on the new BBC drama about two cops who solve crimes over the phone.
It's called Star Key and Hash.
Bloody Vending Machines!!
I've just used the new vending machine at the office which was endorsed by Col. Gaddafi? The bloody thing won't give you change!
Queen honours The Fonz
An award from the Queen for Henry Winkler?
Wake me up before you crash crash
News reaches us that George Michael has bitten someone in North London. His victim has turned into a Whampire
Gbagbo captured at last!!!
Frodo, Pipin, and Gandalf are next!!!!
30p Jaffa insists "I aint no Torres!!!"
Police in Scotland Question Moussa Koussa
A spokesman has confirmed that they are also interested in speaking to Goosey Loosey and Foxy Loxy.
Man. United The most hated company!!
In other obvious news today - Oranges are not the only fruit, it won't get better if you keep on picking it and it does you good to laugh sometimes.
Paul Gasgoine embroiled in Mid-east crisis!!
Or was it just that the Israelis were asked to return the Gaza Strip?
Lord Vader discovers Luke's birthday surprises.
"I've felt his presents" the dark one claims.
Huge wave of apathy sweeps the nation!!!
This morning, as millions of folks were having their breakfast a..............oh f"£% it, what's the bloody point?
Writers' Block Pandemic!
A pandemic of Writer's Block has swept across the land today with.......................nope, got nothing. Sorry.
Fields Of Goldfish.
It's been revealed today that goldfish can only remember things for approximately ten to fifteen seconds. In other news, godfish can only remember things for ten to fifteen seconds.
what's it all about then?
Tonight, I'll be asking; The Hokey Cokey, what if it really IS what its all about?
Is the truth out there?
News comes to this desk today that giant rocks crash into the country every day but the government hushes it up. Also, why aliens sorted out my garden shed for me, and Wayne Rooney. Why?
Pappa Smurf Chokes to death in Restaraunt!!
Restaraunt owner asks "Exactly how were we supposed to tell?"
Chicken lays the same egg seven times in a hurricane
A local farmer with two thumbs on one hand was forced to admit that he deliberately kept the stricken chicken out for too long. Denephew boot is currently trying to grow hot dogs from peas. Help.
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