Showing breaking news satire snippets written by grimbo.

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New Gig For Brucie

Veteran entertainer Bruce Forsyth is setting out on a new career as a frontman for a popular internet search engine for cattle and sheep sales.

He's to be the new face of

written by grimbo, 06 June 2011

Blatter To Face Enquiry

FIFA President is to be investigated by the football governing body's Ethics committee for allegedly ignoring the payment of bribes.

He'll then be investigated by the Thuthics committee.

written by grimbo, 27 May 2011

Fridge Owner Jailed

Manchester man Jack Smith has been jailed for 6 months after pleading guilty to leaving fridges in the back garden over night.

He was done for indesit exposure.

written by grimbo, 26 May 2011

Man Utd Crowned Premiership Champions

Man Utd players received their Premiership medals this afternoon.

True to form, when Michael Carrick was presented with his medal by the Barclays representative, he gave it straight back.

written by grimbo, 22 May 2011

Iceland Volcano Erupts

Iceland's most active volcano Grimsvotn has started to erupt.

British Airways have cancelled all flights due to leave UK airports this Tuesday.

written by grimbo, 22 May 2011

Miami Dolphins Facing Liquidation Threat

American football giants Miami Dolphins are facing the spectre of liquidation after posting record losses for 2010/11.

Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has called in the wide receiver.

written by grimbo, 22 May 2011

Man Utd's Parade Route Revealed

Man Utd have confirmed the route their parade bus will take if they beat Barcelona in the Champions League final next weekend.

The bus will go through every borough in London.

written by grimbo, 20 May 2011

Lennon Lyrics Sell For £145,000

John Lennon's hand written lyrics for "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" have sold for £145,000 in an auction in New York.

So it was all about LSD then.

written by grimbo, 19 May 2011

IMF Abbreviation Clarified

Its short for "I Merely Fondle"

written by grimbo, 16 May 2011

Sheen's 2 And A Half Men Replacement Named

Warner Brothers Television has revealed the identity of Charlie Sheen's replacement on the hit show "Two And A Half Men".

Its Mel Gibson.

written by grimbo, 14 May 2011

Sarkozy Threat To Punch Editor

Pretty pointless as the satirical magazine folded in 2002.....

written by grimbo, 10 April 2011

Convoy Movie Rereleased

The 1978 trucker film "Convoy", which starred Kris Kristofferson, is being re-released later this year.

Although the film was panned by most critics, the trailer was well received.

written by grimbo, 07 April 2011

Led Zep Tribute Band Robbed

A Led Zeppelin tribute band have had their guitars stolen from one of the group's home.

Although police enquiries are continuing, its believed that the thieves came In Through The Out Door.

written by grimbo, 05 April 2011

Olympics 2012

Pundits have reacted angrily to the news that the Vuvuzela is to be banned form London 2012.

Paul Merson commented "I think every South American country should be allowed to attend".

written by grimbo, 20 March 2011

Tennyson Poem For London 2012

A Tennyson poem is to be used to inspire the UK at London 2012.

The quote will be placed on the door of the team's hotel.

It will read :

"This gig cost £900 million. Don't feckin' blow it".

written by grimbo, 14 March 2011

Boxing Update

David Hayes' next fight against one of the Klitschko brothers is to be shown on a U.S cable channel.

Its being labelled as "WBO BO on HBO".

written by grimbo, 13 March 2011

Charlie Sheen Latest

Warner Brothers have confirmed that they've sacked Charlie Sheen, star of the hit show "Two And A Half Men".

Shhen is now reputedly producing a film of his life story, "Two And A Half Brandies".

written by grimbo, 08 March 2011

Doctors Using Hi Tech Dummies

NHS doctors are training on sophisticated dummies to prepare them for most crises, its been revealed.

Debutantes from Westminster and Kensington are keen on applying.

written by grimbo, 06 March 2011

New Shrimp Named After Aberdeen Scientist

A new species of shrimp found in the North Sea has been named after the Aberdeen University scientist who discovered it.

The shrimp will be known as Wullie Fae Peterheid.

written by grimbo, 05 March 2011

Police Chief Calls For "No Fans Games"

Following the violence on and off the park at the Old Firm game, police chief Les Gray has is urging that games take place with no fans present.

Hamilton Accies v Dundee United already qualifies.

written by grimbo, 05 March 2011

More Celebrity Endorsements

The latest celebrity to endorse a product is legendary 60's and 70's singer, Glen Campbell.

He's to endorse a new heartburn cure, Gaviscon.

written by grimbo, 04 March 2011

New Airline Announced

A brand new cut price airline is being launched next week. It saves money by only using recycled air and warns fliers they may experience a blocked nose or heavy phlegm.

Its called Catarrh Airways.

written by grimbo, 03 March 2011

Scotland Rugby Crisis

Scotland, hot favourites for the rugby wooden spoon , have 6 players on the treatment table after defeat to Ireland.

Unfortunately, they're all likely to recover in time for Twickenham.

written by grimbo, 28 February 2011

McCartney Ballet For New York

An EP is out now as a taster for Paul McCartney's first ballet score :

The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Billy Elliot

Please Plier Me

Carry That Weight

Why Don't We Do It In The Rond ?

written by grimbo, 28 February 2011

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