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Showing snippets written by Mr Goster.


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Man Speaks With Forked Tongue

There was confusion today in a London pub when a man tried to order a round of drinks but spoke with a forked tongue.
'I couldn't understand a word he said,' explained Reg,the barman.

written by Mr Goster, 25 April 2011
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Cowell's Trowels

High waisted keen amateur gardener Simon Cowell has brought out a range of fancy gardening tools.
'Cowell's Trowels' are available in all good Gardening Centres from Monday.

written by Mr Goster, 25 April 2011
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Kate Middleton Gets Cold Feet

In Royal News,Kate Middleton was seen buying the Box Set of popular Award winning 90's Drama 'Cold Feet' in Tesco's in London.
'It's my Mum's favourite programme,' she said.

written by Mr Goster, 25 April 2011
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Neil Warnock Denies Nickname Rumours

In Sport News, QPR manager Neil Warnock has denied that people sometimes call him horrid names.
'Colin Wanker isn't an anagram of my name,' he said.
'It is you know' said an insider.

written by Mr Goster, 24 April 2011
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Arcade Fire's Tyres

Canadian Rock Superstars Arcade Fire have brought out a range of affordable Bicycle Tyres to help cyclists everywhere.
'Just in case the Band goes Tits up' said singer Win Butler.

written by Mr Goster, 24 April 2011
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Barefoot Lady Wins 1000 Guineas

Racing News just in, a Barefoot Lady has won the 1000 Guineas race, which is a remarkable 'feet' in itself!
'She's just very quick' said Trainer, Richard Fahey.

written by Mr Goster, 24 April 2011
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Man Wins Marathon As Wife Wins Snicker

As Boston marathon winner Geoff Mutai celebrated, he was totally unaware that 3 miles away his wife had won a box of Snickers in a Church raffle. Wife Brenda said 'I don't even like them.'

written by Mr Goster, 20 April 2011
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Baked Bean Found In Aldi Beans Tin

Student Phil Yurboots, 36, from Swindon was amazed when he opened a tin of Aldi's own brand beans and found nearly a dozen beans inside.
'I hope their standards aren't slipping,' said Phil.

written by Mr Goster, 20 April 2011
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Holly Willoughby Has Baby Girl

In Entertainment news popular airhead presenter Holly Willoughby is celebrating the birth of her new baby girl.
'We're calling her Holly,' said Holly.

written by Mr Goster, 15 April 2011
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Vin's Bins

Popular Hollywood hardman and gravel voiced actor Vin
Diesel has designed a lovely range of pop up kitchen waste disposal units.
'Vin's Bins' will be available in all good department stores.

written by Mr Goster, 25 March 2011
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Dannii's Trannies

Popular Australian celebrity Dannii (cleverly spelt with 2 ii's yeah right) Minogue has designed a range of DAB radio's.
They will be known as 'Danni's Trannies' and are in stores from Monday.

written by Mr Goster, 25 March 2011
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Kay's Trays

Those ultra popular brothers from Bolton, Peter and Vernon Kay have launched a lovely range of Dinner Trays.
"Kay's Trays" go on sale from Monday in all good department stores, especially M&S.

written by Mr Goster, 23 March 2011
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Ant 'n' Decs Specs

Those Popular funsters Ant and Dec have launched a range of trendy reading glasses called "Ant 'n' Decs Specs".
They will be on sale from Monday in all good department stores.

written by Mr Goster, 23 March 2011
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Cowell's Towels

Popular Millionaire Simon Cowell has expanded his Business Empire by introducing a range of Kitchen and Bathroom Towels in Parnership with M&S.
"Cowell's Towels" are on sale from Monday.

written by Mr Goster, 23 March 2011
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Steve Bruce Breaks Down

Sunderland Manager Steve Bruce broke down crying earlier today when a Liverpool fan shouted to him that ' his head was bigger than a Space Hopper.'
'It's a bit cruel really that,' said Steve.

written by Mr Goster, 20 March 2011
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Lady Cuts Nose Off To Spite Face

In what can only be described as a brutal act of self-mutilation, housewife June Srewloose cut her nose off.
'That'll teach it to sneeze without asking,' she shrieked.

written by Mr Goster, 16 March 2011
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Fu Man Shoe

Korean Snooker player Marco Fu is opening a chain of Male only footwear shops. They will called 'Fu Man Shoe'.

written by Mr Goster, 16 March 2011
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Dog Bites The Hand That Feeds!

In a nasty little incident, Paul, a Schnauzer Puppy from Germany bit his owner Kevin whilst eating a biscuit.
'He's just hungry' said Kevin.

written by Mr Goster, 16 March 2011
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Hotel Room No Bible Policy

New Hotel Chain ' Travel Dodgy' has caused outrage by not having The Bible in rooms.
A travel spokesman said 'It's the first thing people look for.This will never catch on.'

written by Mr Goster, 15 March 2011
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Mars Bar Duo Scam Exposed.

Inventor of the Mars Duo, chocolatier Sir Humphrey Wispa has admitted It's just a Mars Bar cut in half.
' I just cut a Mars Bar in half and changed the wrapper,' said Humphrey.

written by Mr Goster, 15 March 2011
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Fly Found In Ointment

Unhygenic news now, and Beryl Frisk, 63, from Troon had a shock when she bought her usual wrinkle cream, opened it up and found a fly inside!
'I won't be buying that again,' said Beryl.

written by Mr Goster, 15 March 2011
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Sesame Street Closed For Roadworks

There was chaos this morning on Sesame Street when it was closed for road re-surfacing repairs which could last up to three months.
Popular neighbours Burt & Ernie said 'The traffic's terrible.'

written by Mr Goster, 15 March 2011
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Glacier Mint Stars In Suicide Pact

Terry Fox and Mike Polar Bear,the original stars of the Fox's Glacier Mint Empire have both been found dead in their New York Penthouse.
A friend said 'They were worried about their rent payments.'

written by Mr Goster, 14 March 2011
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Mr Magoo Fails Eye Test

Famous Hollywood Cartoon Character Mr Magoo failed his eye test today for the 40th year running.
'They really are the worst set of Mince Pies I've ever seen,' said Eye specialist Cockney Dave.

written by Mr Goster, 14 March 2011
Showing page 1 (of 7 pages)


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