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Jamie Oliver's 30 second cookbook

Jamie Oliver is not to release his 30 second cookbook as reported earlier in the news story, he is in fact releasing his 32nd cookbook. Apologies MTL

written by Mikethelad, 27 January 2011
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Dyslexic Poets

Dyslexic poets protested today in front of the Buckingham Palace about government cuts in support services.
"We are not going to Kate it any Rome" said spokesman, "its a cuffing joke"

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Oompah Loompahs are revolting

Willy Wonka's chocolate factory has closed due to industrial action by Oompah Loompahs. "No more short shifts", said Union leader Shortie Pantz

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Zsa Zsa Gabors leg

Instead of Ricky Gervais hosting the Oscars, the American Screen Writers Guild have hired Zsa Zsa Gabors leg to mc the awards ceremony.

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Euro Tumbles

Ferdinand Euro, 63 from Sardinia fell down a flight of stairs today. Newswires misinterpreted the story and led to wild currency swings

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Wonderbra sponsorship

Wonderbra were revealed today as the new 2011 sponsors of Premier league referees and assistants. Andy Gray was not available for comment on or off microphone

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Google launches competitor to Facebook

Well known for turning the industry on its head, Google revealed plans to launch a competitor to Facebook called ArseBook

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Celebrity Tweet: David Beckham (5)

Help....chili sauce or garlic sauce...chili or garlic...garlic or chili...chili or garlic..omg....such choice....chili or garlic....

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Oscar for Kings Speech

Asked to comment on receiving the best actor award for "the Kings Speech" Colin Firth was speechless

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Easyjet to reduce luggage allowance

In the wake of the 7kg TNT Moscow airport bombing, Easyjet has decided to reduce its allowed luggage to 6Kg or less

written by Mikethelad, 24 January 2011
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Monday Sucks

Monday Smith, swimwear model and false teeth wearer definitely does, says Saracens rugby team 1st and 2nd 15

written by Mikethelad, 23 January 2011
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Biggest Loser

John (2 Eye-Bags) Prescott revealed today that he will be joining the next series of 'Biggest Loser'.

written by Mikethelad, 21 January 2011
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Wenger buys Scunthorpe

Arsenals plans to buy Scunthorpe stopped when new name of team revealed using first 4 letters of Arsenal and 2nd to 5th letters of Scunthorpe..."Eez zis a problem?" said Wenger

written by Mikethelad, 21 January 2011
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Celebrity Tweet: David Beckham (5)

Am trying to stop Brooklyn using my iPhone but I can't see the keyhole to in the key to lock the keyboard..help

written by Mikethelad, 19 January 2011
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George Clooney in court

William O'Shun, Irish bank robber is suing George Clooney for plagiarism. William has 13 children and his family is referred to as O'Shuns 13 (or the 13 O'Shuns)

written by Mikethelad, 19 January 2011
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Celebrity Tweet: Victoria Beckham (4)

Just gave Harry Redknapp 3 mill to sign Pienar, so David doesn't have to get hurt playing for Spurs. The things a doting wife does for her man.

written by Mikethelad, 19 January 2011
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Celebrity Tweet: David Beckham (4)

Spurs have just signed a new midfielder now I'm never going to get a game. I'll just sit here and scratch my Goldenballs instead.

written by Mikethelad, 19 January 2011
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Jordan takes new job at Bank of England

Model and celebrity Jordan is to join the Bank of England Monetary Policy Committee. George (Ozzy) Osbourne asked her to join to use her skills of getting things up to lift the value of the pound.

written by Mikethelad, 19 January 2011
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Algerians pray for rain

The Algerian government has hired 170 aborigines to perform 24 hour rain dances hoping to dampen the opportunity for Tunisian style immolation protests

written by Mikethelad, 17 January 2011
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Mubarak offers free firelighters and matches to Opposition

H. Mubarek President of Egypt for 174 years has been offering free firelighters and matches to opposition politicians in a gesture of generosity not matched since Bill Clinton's pole dance club visit.

written by Mikethelad, 17 January 2011
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Egyptians fear Tunisian influence spreading

Sales of firelighters and matches reached an all time high in Egypt prompting concerns over Tunisian style copycat immolaters on the streets of Cairo. Mubarek has been President of Egypt 174 years

written by Mikethelad, 17 January 2011
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Keep calm in Tunisia

Valium manufacturer Roche called for everyone to keep calm in Tunisia. "Take 2 yellows or 1 white tablet twice per day" said marketing manager, Bill Profitt, and short Roche stock

written by Mikethelad, 17 January 2011
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Vampires to go on strike

Vampire actors staring in Hollywood films are striking for more pay and bigger roles. "We just want our day in the sun" said strike leader Michael Howard, ex leader of Conservative Party

written by Mikethelad, 17 January 2011
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Giant French Cock (II)

After installing a giant blue French cock in Trafalgar Square, Boris Johnslob, Mayor, is after suggestions for future exhibits. Poland has offered a large Polish sausage, we await the German response.

written by Mikethelad, 17 January 2011
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