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Update of the Ashes

Test Cricketer Ricky Ponting spoke at a press conference last night declaring that "I'm not a quitter...everyone just wishes I was."

written by Lara Bruton, 02 January 2011
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Julian Asange to host cooking show

All recipes to include a "large number of leeks". The date of premiere and episode guides to be leaked via their website.

written by Lara Bruton, 09 December 2010
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London: People with moles less prone to ageing

More prone to be pointed at and have 'MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY' yelled at them.

written by Lara Bruton, 21 November 2010
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Ice Age fossil find in Colorado

Mass disappointment when found to be a thrown out Ice Age 2 DVD.

written by Lara Bruton, 21 November 2010
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Radioactive rodent on the loose

Radioactive cat sent to find it.

written by Lara Bruton, 21 November 2010
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2.5m-year-old tobacco found in Peru

2.5 million year old bottle of beer found nearby.

written by Lara Bruton, 21 November 2010
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18 rhinos found dead in SAfrica game park

South African Booze Park next door probably the culprit.

written by Lara Bruton, 21 November 2010
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NRL, AFL seasons could hurt Australia's World Cup bid

Football Federation Australia to combat this by screaming loudly, rolling on the floor, faking an injury and shouting 'Ref! Ref!'

written by Lara Bruton, 21 November 2010
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Britain to send prisoners into space

New colony on Mars will be dubbed 'Marstralia'. Officials say there is no correlation between this project and the country of Australia, where Britain sent their wrongdoers up until the late 1800s.

written by Lara Bruton, 27 September 2010
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Justin Bieber voted sexiest man alive

UNITED STATES- A recent street poll has declared teen heartthrob Justin Bieber sexier than George Clooney, Robert Pattinson and late singer Elvis Presley combined. Poll organizers were not surprised.

written by Lara Bruton, 19 September 2010
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