Showing snippets written by Lara Bruton.
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Update of the Ashes
Test Cricketer Ricky Ponting spoke at a press conference last night declaring that "I'm not a quitter...everyone just wishes I was."
Julian Asange to host cooking show
All recipes to include a "large number of leeks". The date of premiere and episode guides to be leaked via their website.
London: People with moles less prone to ageing
More prone to be pointed at and have 'MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY' yelled at them.
Ice Age fossil find in Colorado
Mass disappointment when found to be a thrown out Ice Age 2 DVD.
Radioactive rodent on the loose
Radioactive cat sent to find it.
2.5m-year-old tobacco found in Peru
2.5 million year old bottle of beer found nearby.
18 rhinos found dead in SAfrica game park
South African Booze Park next door probably the culprit.
NRL, AFL seasons could hurt Australia's World Cup bid
Football Federation Australia to combat this by screaming loudly, rolling on the floor, faking an injury and shouting 'Ref! Ref!'
Britain to send prisoners into space
New colony on Mars will be dubbed 'Marstralia'. Officials say there is no correlation between this project and the country of Australia, where Britain sent their wrongdoers up until the late 1800s.
Justin Bieber voted sexiest man alive
UNITED STATES- A recent street poll has declared teen heartthrob Justin Bieber sexier than George Clooney, Robert Pattinson and late singer Elvis Presley combined. Poll organizers were not surprised.
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