Showing breaking news satire snippets written by masterchev.Show all snippets.
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #5
"We don't just buy anyone!" claims Roberto Mancini as he stood by the revolving door at the City of Manchester Stadium.
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #4
"The Beckham Saga"
Beckham seeks guy from Go Compare advert to give him cheaper insurance as the posh twat seeks a start for Spurs Reserves.
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #3
Liverpool's "King" Kenny Dalglish sighted at Aldi searching for "quality buy"
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #2
More French immigrants detained at Calais as Wenger looks to mount a title race.
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #1
David Moyes will buy top defender "G. Wall of China" on loan from Shanghai in a bid to buy a defence which cannot be breached.
Burger King set to open in Indonesia
They've got one in Pompei. Why not build one near another natural disaster site?
Satirical Writer visits Pompei: thoughts.
"Once you see one ruin, you've seen them all"
"I'll show them a decent ruin. I call her my ex"
"Very realistic. Including the security cameras"
Indonesia Going Through "Shit Time"
Volcanoes. Earthquakes. And now Paul the Octopus being denied a decent funeral there. It's all getting a bit too much.
France still striking
Shame they couldn't do that in the world cup.
UK gives aids to Africa
1,000,000 office "secretaries" to be sent following budget cuts.
Britain to share aircraft hangar with France
"You bring petrol. We'll bring slaves"
Classified Ad #8
Wanted: Petrol. Will trade for Romanian cheerleading squad. Offers to Sarkozy.
China votes for next leader
Chop Suey expected to beat Kung Fu in elections.
Classified Ad #7
Wanted: a decent sheep and an umbrella to complete stereotypical image of Welshman.
written by masterchev, 15 October 2010
Classified Ad #7
Selling: Ayegbeni Yakubu. Has been malnourished for years now. Requires constant feeding to be of any worth. And contact lenses.
What we found in the mine, by a Chilean person
Two hundred pounds of salami; three rare diamonds; one flying sheep and a dying language spoken only on the Isle of Man. Underequipped? Hardly.
Welsh revving up a gear
Following hammering by Neutral Swiss. Final score: 4 to the Big Cheeses; and Tobler-ONE to the Welsh minnows
Miners staying down there...
Not coming out until Maggie Thatcher is long gone.
New University Challenge Starts Next Year...
As protestors seek to riot against Cleggy Weggy's plans to double tuition fees. Adult rating introduced for first time ever.
Classified Ad #6
For Sale: Steven Gerrard. Free to a good home. Housetrained. Only punches DJs and Everton players. Barely English: will fit in in a foreign environment. Doesn't like being left alone for too long. $$
written by masterchev, 11 October 2010
Classified Ad #5
Wanted: anyone who has ever sung on X-Factor to perform Charity single for Panda Aid. Will pay in bamboo leaves proportionate to their weight.
Classified Ad #4
Wanted. Space on X-Factor Live Finals to avoid firing squad. Will pay handsomely.
Advertisement No 2
Wanted: Plutonium. Send to Iran in a box of socks. We don't want anyone to know what we're' up to.
Classified Ad #3
Wanted. Bubble wrap. Lots of bubble wrap. Used to contain puppy I intend to throw in garbage next tuesday. Love, Anon.