Showing breaking news satire snippets written by High Higgler.Show all snippets.
More people affected by recalled eggs than previously thought.
Most men that have gotten sick from the eggs, just thought it was from their wives cooking. One man said, I new it was something else because I didnt get as sick as I usually do from her cooking.
written by High Higgler, 22 August 2010
PETA says it is now ok to kill racoons
PETA founder says it has nothing to do with them getting in her trash, but that they carry diease and may hurt another animal.
Imam leader of the proposed mosque reveals budget.
Imam said he needs 100 million tax payer dollars for his overseas trip. The White House says they have looked at the budget, and its legit
Prison is on lock down after massive riot
This repoter learned that the new Halo game for playstation was 4 days late, because security guards had to check 4000 games before passing them out, which caused a massive riot.
Shocking news about Nancy Pelosi
A childhood friend announced today that the speaker of the house is actually Skeletor from HE-MAN.
Satan is going to negotiate peace talks
The ruler of darkness is coming out of hiding to negotiate peace within the Democratic party.
Most American women can speak Spanish
Since most women do the shopping in the USA, we have learned that they also are fluent in Spanish. They say that since all products are written in Spanish they have had to learn the language or starve
Obama said The Spoof is a good news source!
After the President made this statement this morning. The Spoof lost 85% of its readers. We are now showing record low numbers, but we are still beating MSNBC, and CNN.
Ground Zero Mosque to be moved
After so much public pressure to move the Mosque at Ground Zero. Obama said the terrorist could build it in the center of the Pentagon.
A man killed himself this morning!
A man blew his head off this morning with a 12 guage shotgun, after his wife told him, that her mother would be moving in with them.
Jane Fonda new spokesperson for Ground Zero Mosque
Mohhamed Something said: We felt she was a good choice because, the infidels hate her more than us, and this will divert their attention, while we build our Tolerance factory.
Rodney King gets another beating!
After a drunk Rodney King called a group of Paramedics, Ambulance drivers, they proceeded to beat the shit out of him until he died. The L.A.P.D is now trying to hire the Paramedics.
New rules for TSA workers.
The TSA will no longer be screening anyone of middle eastern descent, because of political correctness. They will only screen old people from now on, unless they are a Towel Head.
written by High Higgler, 18 August 2010
White guy banned from store for speaking English
A white man has be banned for speaking English at his local 7 eleven. Abduul yacmar said something we did not understand in a statement this morning. The white man may face a hate crime charge.
Rachel Maddow's girlfriend broke up with her.
A freind of the family said in a statement. Rachel knows Glen Beck is behind this, and she will expose him on her show tonight, to all 6 of her viewers.
Man hung child molester from tree in front yard for 2 weeks!
Apparently no one gave a shit, he was taken down after he started to decay and stink. The police dept. said, no charges will be filed.
13,000 illegal mexicans crossed the border today!
The White House said in a statement, that this is 4 less than yesterday. Obama was quick to say that I told you we were on top of this problem. Also 4 more jobs have been created by the stimulus.
Terrorist mastermind refuses to blow self up and is given hero status!
Mohhamed something says it is because of my strong will that I am able to wait for my 72 Virgins, but I need to be here to show others, the proper technique in blowing themselves up.
New report on the economy has sluts scared!
Economist say we are in a downward spiral. Even street sluts are feeling the pinch. One slut said she is offering a buy one, get one free blow job, just to make enough money for cigarettes.
DUMBO tries to kill himself (AGAIN)
After years of being teased the big eared elephant tried to end it all last night. Police say his hand was to big to pull the trigger on the gun. Leaving one more reason to make fun of the dumbass.
Survival expert Bear Grylls dies in port a potty
After years of pretending to shit in the woods, Bears lies caught up with him. The door became jammed, and he was overtaken by the fumes from his own shit. More to follow on this story.
New device made for when wife is out of town
This device will belittle you, bitch non stop, complain of headaches, and interrupt every movie you attempt to watch. The makers say you will never know she left.
Made by Women of America
Wal Mart has just bought 1 million scooters for their stores
Wal Mart CEO says these scooters are put in place so all the fat people can get all the way through the store. Before this purchase those fat bastards have been limited to the food isle.
Gay man starves to death
A gay man has died from starvation after banning to many anti gay establishments, leaving him no where to buy food. The gay council has put a ban on banning buisnesses.