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Nick Griffin banned from Palace Party
Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, was today banned from attending a party at Buckingham Palace said a Palace spokesman due to the fact the he is, "a bit of a cunt."
Gibson to explode
Mel Gibson has announced that he will blow himself up next week. "I've had enough of this bullshit and, to be honest, I deserve it."
BP TO PLUG LEAK WITH SANITARY TOWELS
BP has announced plans to stop the Gulf Coast oil leak by using sanitary towels and tampons. "We've tried everything else and are clutching at straws now," said a spokesman.
Piers Morgan given ANOTHER job!
Piers Morgan, renowned lying and gullible British journalist is somehow still in gainful employment. People with IQs of over 75 are said to be "dumfounded."
Hulk embraces baldness
Hulk Hogan announces that he will no longer be wearing his bandana. Cotton prices expected to fall; Egyptian industry bigwigs said to be "perturbed."
BP Boss in PR gaffe
The head of BP has been attacked for saying that, "less sea birds means less bird shit on the Gulf Coast's cars. It's win-win"
Lloyd Webber to write new musical "Moat"
Andrew Lloyd Webber today announced his intention to stage a musical based on the life of Raoul Moat. "We start casting next week with a view to premiere before Christmas," he stated.
ITV 2 reveal new reality show
ITV 2 today announced plans to produce a new reality show based on the exploits of Raoul Moat. "Moat's Mentalists" will be looking for contestants from next week. See itv2.com/moat for more details.
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