Showing snippets written by Magic Fingers 1966.
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Kate Winslet to NOT appear nude in next film
The former Mrs Sam Mendes has advised she will keep her clothes on for her next film, as she doesn't want to become overly exposed, again! Well done Kate, we look forward to seeing you all dressed up.
Robert Pattinson is Jeremy Vine's love child
Questions were raised when Twilight Star Pattinson was pictured beside Vine, bearing an uncanny resemblance to one of the BEEBs top men. Neither were available for comment!
Isle of Wight part of Axis of Evil
Anxious to increase the ever growing 'Axis of Evil', Brit bashing President Barry O'Bama has had enough of 'those Wight folk thinking they can do what they like'!
1 in 5 MPs are fake
So many fake MPs are now in circulation that they may have to be withdrawn and reissued. Lord Sir Grand Admiral Alan Sugar will supervise the country until this has been done.
Pulitzer prize win for 'Bureau'
This prolific 'snippet writer' is nominated for services to cheering up spoof news readers!
Sarkozy in new Ewok Saga
The vertically challenged Nicholas Sarkozy, will play Wicket's dark Brother 'Burkha'- who both struggle for power of their Country, & includes Model Women and ridiculous policies.
Gordon Brown in new play about Lord Byron
Having been outed as 'Mad, Bad & Dangerous to know' The former PM is rehearsing for a West End appearance in aid of an Iraq charity for the homeless!
Basil Brush Culled
Found in a child's bedroom, Basil was blown apart by an irate, irrational Mother. Boom Boom!
Alcohol for all
Owing to MPs being drunk House of Commons, there is now no age limit for drinkers. Nursery children welcomed the vote by declaring 'about bloody time too'.
Pig to run for Parliament
Betty, the self confessed news junkie has elected to run as MP for Eastbourne in the next election. She said ''if you look at Stephen Lloyd (Lib Dem), it's living proof that ANYONE can be elected''.
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