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Thief Lectures Court
Thief Malcolm Riffkid told a Court in Barnsley today that if he was paid more he wouldn't have to steal.
Henry VIII Upset by Isis
Henry VIII's spokesperson Hilary Mantel has described the monarch's horror at the beheadings and burning carried out by ISIS. 'They are invading my territory' he complained.
Mickey Rooney & John Wayne combined to give England's captain his century.
Surrealist Band's Shocking Exposure
The drummer is using phallic cymbals.
Yes, YES, YES. Better Together.
South Africa Pissed Off
As Oscar gets away with murder the South African public is throughly pissed off with Pistorfrious.
A clearer case of murder has seldom been seen, but a sporting decision has been made.
My typo mistake ISIS has been corrected. I meant IS isn't the answer not IS is the answer.
West Ham - No Change
Ravel Morrison, West Ham's musical star and Christmas favourite Lewis Carroll are suffering from Deja Vu.
Israel Supports Commonwealth Games Slogan
'Put Children First' the cry from Unicef for the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow is supported by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Nastyknowhow.
Anyone for Tennis?
40,000 - love.
Putin Put In Pickle
Crane give Russian Leader a hefty peck on the cheek.
Let's have a Whip round for him.
Sister of Lord Haverstock decides to correct the Government's mistake.
Israel Wins the World Cup
Meacher The Critic
Most of those commenting on the dossier on alleged sexual misconduct in Parliament, including myself, have never seen it.
Cameron & Murdoch Working Together
Prison visiting to get advice on how to run the country and the media.
David Cameron's England team suffered a 26-2 defeat in the European Cup
New Game Goes Viral
A new game 'Spot the Criminal' has resulted in astonishing public participation. It consists of pictures of people leaving 10 Downing Street. There are so many hits the site has exploded.
England Manager Roy Stodge explained the World Cup was a training exercise for the next World Cup.
Former Prime Minister Tony Blare solves Middle East problems by killing everyone there.
Oxford's Isis Crew Excel in Iraq
Oxford's substitute boat race crew, the Sunny Isis outfit, have pulled off a great victory in Iraq beating the local Shit crew who were last seen running from the scene.
Tory Extremist Scandal
Freak school to be closed after discovery of Tory think tank in headmaster's closet.
Gove In May
The marriage is announced between Theresa Gove and May Day, the first gay marriage in Parliamentary history. Muslims - take that!
Clegg Keeps Cable Out Of Trouble
Clegg convinces Cable not to Nick the Crown
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