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Cameron Kid in Hospital
After moving into Number 10, one of David Cameron's children has been taken to hospital.
He swallowed a large marble from Gordon's bedside cabinet.
Brown doesn't see eye-to-eye with voter
Gordon Brown outrageously called an old woman 'old' and a 'woman'.
"****, my ankle hurts"
The Duke of Edinburgh has suffered a minor injury to his ankle while carriage driving at the Windsor estate.
It's understood the Duke said, "Which stupid, bloody Nig Nog left that on the road?"
Man from Atlantis found drowned
Patrick Duffy, well known as the man from Atlantis, has drowned. Ironically, he could never breathe under water...or had any sort of gills.
When are the organisers of the London Marathon going to wise up and ban all the cheats using wheelchairs?
Judgement due in Shoesmith case
It is expected that the court will agree it was all cobblers.
Dreams can help with learning to drive
Simply fall asleep at the wheel.
US oil rig sinks in Gulf of Mexico
There we just too many Americans on it for the superstructure to hold. Some observers were quoted as saying as many as twelve.
US sex abuse lawsuit names Pope
Amazingly, it IS Benedict.
"Camilla champions British produce"
Including plaster casts and horse meat.
"Church tops young music rich list".
I'm not surprised...
...priests have been grooming the best choir boys for years.
With all my depraved acts, some say I'm living in sin.
I say I'm living without regret.
Old Chinese Proverb
He who goes to bed with itchy bottom wakes up with brown finger.
Disproving what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
I believe my son is too right wing and could get in trouble.
I'll play him more central next game.
"Obama plays more golf than Bush".
I play more football than a tree.
If volcanoes are God's crack pipes, he's on one massive rock bender right now.
A service is to be held for the Polish crash victims today.
Which reminds me, who serviced the plane that was carrying them? I'd like to book my mother-in-law a holiday.
I'm dead against them.
French and Henry
In an interview, Dawn French said there was a "slim chance of reconciliation" with Lenny.
'Fat chance' more like.
UK Election Snatch-shot
I'm a gynaecologist and at the forthcoming elections I'll be voting labia.
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