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Cameron Kid in Hospital

After moving into Number 10, one of David Cameron's children has been taken to hospital.

He swallowed a large marble from Gordon's bedside cabinet.

written by Coops, 13 May 2010
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Brown doesn't see eye-to-eye with voter

Gordon Brown outrageously called an old woman 'old' and a 'woman'.

written by Coops, 29 April 2010
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"****, my ankle hurts"

The Duke of Edinburgh has suffered a minor injury to his ankle while carriage driving at the Windsor estate.

It's understood the Duke said, "Which stupid, bloody Nig Nog left that on the road?"

written by Coops, 24 April 2010
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Man from Atlantis found drowned

Patrick Duffy, well known as the man from Atlantis, has drowned. Ironically, he could never breathe under water...or had any sort of gills.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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Marathon Cheats

When are the organisers of the London Marathon going to wise up and ban all the cheats using wheelchairs?

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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Judgement due in Shoesmith case

It is expected that the court will agree it was all cobblers.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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Dreams can help with learning to drive

Simply fall asleep at the wheel.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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US oil rig sinks in Gulf of Mexico

There we just too many Americans on it for the superstructure to hold. Some observers were quoted as saying as many as twelve.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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US sex abuse lawsuit names Pope

Amazingly, it IS Benedict.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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"Camilla champions British produce"

Including plaster casts and horse meat.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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"Church tops young music rich list".

I'm not surprised...

...priests have been grooming the best choir boys for years.

written by Coops, 23 April 2010
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Nirvana

With all my depraved acts, some say I'm living in sin.

I say I'm living without regret.

written by Coops, 22 April 2010
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Old Chinese Proverb

He who goes to bed with itchy bottom wakes up with brown finger.

written by Coops, 21 April 2010
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Foie Gras

Disproving what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

written by Coops, 21 April 2010
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I believe my son is too right wing and could get in trouble.

I'll play him more central next game.

written by Coops, 21 April 2010
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"Obama plays more golf than Bush".

So what?

I play more football than a tree.

written by Coops, 20 April 2010
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Crack

If volcanoes are God's crack pipes, he's on one massive rock bender right now.

written by Coops, 18 April 2010
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A service is to be held for the Polish crash victims today.

Which reminds me, who serviced the plane that was carrying them? I'd like to book my mother-in-law a holiday.

written by Coops, 17 April 2010
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Mortuary Slabs

I'm dead against them.

written by Coops, 17 April 2010
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French and Henry

In an interview, Dawn French said there was a "slim chance of reconciliation" with Lenny.

'Fat chance' more like.

written by Coops, 16 April 2010
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UK Election Snatch-shot

I'm a gynaecologist and at the forthcoming elections I'll be voting labia.

written by Coops, 16 April 2010
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