Spoof Snippets
Showing snippets written by Stump Parrish.
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Secondary Oil Slick Discovered In The Gulf
Chemical analysis of sea water has confirmed the oil platform, Deepwater Horizon landed on a container ship that was lost in a storm in 1984. Records list the cargo as 350,000 gallons of Jheri Curl.
Clapper plus Crapper is an Ass Zapper
Dan Dapper's Granmammy T. Rapper Dapper the ex-Flapper Lapper activated her Clapper sittin on da Crapper and flushed her Dapper ass away. Da Dapper Flapper Funeral Capper is music by Frank Zapper.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside a dog it's too dark to read.
TeaBaggers Vow To Stop Another Obama Movement
During a cabinet meeting this morning President Obama excused himself for a visit to the crapper. Joe Watson R, SC hollered, you sh*t?. Teabaggers took up the cry stating we've had enough Obama crap
AIP Reporter Stump Parrish Kidnapped, Ransom terms announced
AIP's crack, head reporter, Stump Parrish was kidnapped from his lalaland penthouse today. Kidnappers have demanded that spoof readers offer 150 positive votes on his stories or they will release him.
Arizona Immigration Notice
In an effort control the use profiling while enforcing Arizona's new Immigrant Law, officers have been instructed to arrest anyone found outside their homes between the hours of 12:01 AM and 1159 PM
Image of Jesus Appears in NYC Central Park.
Hordes of religious pilgrims flocked to Central Park today to see an image of Jesus that has appeared in a homeless guy's crap. Some waited 8 hrs to file thru the public toilet and murmur, Holy Shit
AIP newsflash...FDA to Ban "Natural" Foods...
An out break of death by natural causes has the FDA halting all sales and consumption of natural foods. Organic & Natural Farms will be quaranteened until chemicals and preservatives can be applied.
Westboro Baptist Church To Picket Itself
Reverend Phelps has announced A protest to be held outside of The Westboro Baptist Church on Sunday. He explains that during his morning rounds of the church 2 Deacons were discovered in a closet
Westboro Baptist Church Angry About Gay Hospital Visit Law
Reverend Phelps has spoken out about Obama forcing hospitals to treat gay partners as family. This means that all GOOD christians risk exposure to second hand gayness while visiting ill loved ones.
Westboro Baptist Church To Support Tea Baggers
Reverend Phelps's church WBC is contributing to the tea baggers in the next round of elections. Signs are getting confusing, One says god hates fags and another says that god loves tea baggers. WTF?
Westboro Baptist Church Says god Hates Spoofers
Reverend Phelps announced that those who freely practice the spoofer's lifestlye, are going to hell with those damned homosexuals. Supporters(inbred kin) carried signs stating "God Hates Spoofers"
Mexico to tighten border security
Mexico has decided has had enough. They are tired of Americans stealing citizens to work in low paying jobs while offering them no benefits. They will consider a slave market arrangement with the USA
Single Japanese Women Flocking To America
A noted Podiatrist's discovery of a direct correlation between foot size and penis size, has thousands of single Japanese women flocking to America in search of Bigfoot.
Until Further Notice
It will no longer matter, if it's the Twin Towers or an Abortion Clinic. A terrorist will be prosecuted as a terrorist. The god being honored, being the only difference.
Jesus Returns
Jesus made a long awaited return to NYC today and saw so many people wearing crosses, severe panic attacks set in. He was last seen running down the Hudson River screaming, no friggin' way, not again!
New series of bumper stickers launched
You Keep Prayin' For Me and I'll Keep Thinking For You
New series of bumper stickers launched
Millions of Battered Women and I'm Still Eating Mine Plain
New series of bumper stickers launched
God Bless America - Except Dallas - Screw Dallas
Lesbians Against Bush plan 2 year celebration
The National Chapter of Lesbians Against Bush has announced plans to celebrate the two year anniversary of Obama's waxing of that little bit of useless fluff.
Global Warming Update
The primary source for greehouses gases in North America has been traced to an illegal mexican operation reportedly raising an extremely toxic Pinto Bean variety in green houses across Southern Texas.
!!! BREAKING NEWS ALERT !!!
Nothing to worry about folks, it was just an ant breaking wind. Go back to your terror filled life that makes you jump at everything labelled ALERT
Free to good home
10 adorable puppies are offered to good homes. Mother is a full blooded German Shepard and father was a Super Dog able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
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