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Secondary Oil Slick Discovered In The Gulf

Chemical analysis of sea water has confirmed the oil platform, Deepwater Horizon landed on a container ship that was lost in a storm in 1984. Records list the cargo as 350,000 gallons of Jheri Curl.

written by Stump Parrish, 07 May 2010
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Clapper plus Crapper is an Ass Zapper

Dan Dapper's Granmammy T. Rapper Dapper the ex-Flapper Lapper activated her Clapper sittin on da Crapper and flushed her Dapper ass away. Da Dapper Flapper Funeral Capper is music by Frank Zapper.

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside a dog it's too dark to read.

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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TeaBaggers Vow To Stop Another Obama Movement

During a cabinet meeting this morning President Obama excused himself for a visit to the crapper. Joe Watson R, SC hollered, you sh*t?. Teabaggers took up the cry stating we've had enough Obama crap

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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AIP Reporter Stump Parrish Kidnapped, Ransom terms announced

AIP's crack, head reporter, Stump Parrish was kidnapped from his lalaland penthouse today. Kidnappers have demanded that spoof readers offer 150 positive votes on his stories or they will release him.

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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Arizona Immigration Notice

In an effort control the use profiling while enforcing Arizona's new Immigrant Law, officers have been instructed to arrest anyone found outside their homes between the hours of 12:01 AM and 1159 PM

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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Image of Jesus Appears in NYC Central Park.

Hordes of religious pilgrims flocked to Central Park today to see an image of Jesus that has appeared in a homeless guy's crap. Some waited 8 hrs to file thru the public toilet and murmur, Holy Shit

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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AIP newsflash...FDA to Ban "Natural" Foods...

An out break of death by natural causes has the FDA halting all sales and consumption of natural foods. Organic & Natural Farms will be quaranteened until chemicals and preservatives can be applied.

written by Stump Parrish, 16 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church To Picket Itself

Reverend Phelps has announced A protest to be held outside of The Westboro Baptist Church on Sunday. He explains that during his morning rounds of the church 2 Deacons were discovered in a closet

written by Stump Parrish, 16 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church Angry About Gay Hospital Visit Law

Reverend Phelps has spoken out about Obama forcing hospitals to treat gay partners as family. This means that all GOOD christians risk exposure to second hand gayness while visiting ill loved ones.

written by Stump Parrish, 16 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church To Support Tea Baggers

Reverend Phelps's church WBC is contributing to the tea baggers in the next round of elections. Signs are getting confusing, One says god hates fags and another says that god loves tea baggers. WTF?

written by Stump Parrish, 15 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church Says god Hates Spoofers

Reverend Phelps announced that those who freely practice the spoofer's lifestlye, are going to hell with those damned homosexuals. Supporters(inbred kin) carried signs stating "God Hates Spoofers"

written by Stump Parrish, 14 April 2010
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Mexico to tighten border security

Mexico has decided has had enough. They are tired of Americans stealing citizens to work in low paying jobs while offering them no benefits. They will consider a slave market arrangement with the USA

written by Stump Parrish, 14 April 2010
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Single Japanese Women Flocking To America

A noted Podiatrist's discovery of a direct correlation between foot size and penis size, has thousands of single Japanese women flocking to America in search of Bigfoot.

written by Stump Parrish, 13 April 2010
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Until Further Notice

It will no longer matter, if it's the Twin Towers or an Abortion Clinic. A terrorist will be prosecuted as a terrorist. The god being honored, being the only difference.

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Jesus Returns

Jesus made a long awaited return to NYC today and saw so many people wearing crosses, severe panic attacks set in. He was last seen running down the Hudson River screaming, no friggin' way, not again!

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

You Keep Prayin' For Me and I'll Keep Thinking For You

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

Born Again Atheist

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

Millions of Battered Women and I'm Still Eating Mine Plain

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

God Bless America - Except Dallas - Screw Dallas

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Lesbians Against Bush plan 2 year celebration

The National Chapter of Lesbians Against Bush has announced plans to celebrate the two year anniversary of Obama's waxing of that little bit of useless fluff.

written by Stump Parrish, 11 April 2010
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Global Warming Update

The primary source for greehouses gases in North America has been traced to an illegal mexican operation reportedly raising an extremely toxic Pinto Bean variety in green houses across Southern Texas.

written by Stump Parrish, 10 April 2010
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!!! BREAKING NEWS ALERT !!!

Nothing to worry about folks, it was just an ant breaking wind. Go back to your terror filled life that makes you jump at everything labelled ALERT

written by Stump Parrish, 10 April 2010
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Free to good home

10 adorable puppies are offered to good homes. Mother is a full blooded German Shepard and father was a Super Dog able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

written by Stump Parrish, 10 April 2010
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