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Same doc lifted faces
OKLAHOMA -- Rumors continue that actor/director Robert Redford had a facelift by the same doctor that worked on Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger's face.
New show title
NEW YORK -- Pat Robertson announced that his "700 Club" program is losing money and will change its name to the "600 Club."
Old Ventures tank
TOKYO -- Famous 1960s instrumental group The Ventures collapsed on stage while playing one of their signature songs. Each Venture is now over 70.
Real name discovered
ATLANTA, Ga. -- In his just released biography, newscaster Wolf Blitzer reveals his real name is Dog.
YORK, England -- Descendants of Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater claim Peter had a wife but couldn't eat 'er.
No care for Cross
LOS ANGELES -- The music industry announced today that it doesn't care if Christopher Cross makes a comeback or not.
Oscars cancelled for 2004
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences officials today announced that there will not be Oscars for 2004 because industry members said they would vote for Oliver Stone.
Howard Dean confesses identity
VERMONT -- Former governor and Presidential candidate Howard Dean admitted to reporters today that he is really a duck.
Can the VP
DUNSMORE, Iowa -- After careful consideration, Democratic candidate John Kerry has decided not to have a running mate in his bid for the Presidency.
World's end postponed
GRANTVILLE, Penn. -- A Jehovah's Witness who claimed the world would end next week has now said he was wrong by two weeks.
NASCAR cancels '500'
CARMEL, Ind. -- NASCAR officials say the Indianapolis 500, has been cancelled due to a lack of gasoline.
"We will, still sell all NASCAR-related items on the site," said a spokesman.
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