Showing snippets written by Spicewood.
Show all snippets.
Happened in Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
A lady was picking through frozen turkeys but she couldn't find one big enough. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
It was mealtime during an airline flight. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Japanese scientists have now created a digital camera with such a fast speed that it's now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.
A Chicken Joke
A Taxpayer voting for Barack Obama is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.
Big Difference in Price
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
The NBA at a recent meeting, unanimously agreed that all players would refrain from getting more tattoos until 2011, and the 3.4 million dollars saved would be donated to charity.
A patient reports suffering from headeaches while menstrating on the top of her head.
A rather plump girl served me my order in McDonalds at lunch time, she said, "Sorry about the wait."
I said "Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually."
Works for me
Years ago it was suggested, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
But since most doctors are now Muslim, I've found a bacon sandwich works just as well.
Phi Beta Kappa
My neighbor said he took his tape measure to bed with him to see how long he slept. I changed the subject.
I am at that age in life, if it weren't for liver spots and dry skin, I would have no skin at all.
Church Member: "I didn't see you in church last Sunday."
Elder: "I don't doubt it. I took up the collection."
Judge: "Can't this case be settled out of court?"
Prisoner: "Sure, sure; that's what we were trying to do, your honor, when the police interfered."
She: "And what would you be now if it weren't for my money?"
He: "A bachelor."
"Did your watch stop when it dropped on the floor?" asked one man of his friend.
"Sure," was the answer. "Did you think it would go through?"
"Can I have the afternoon off to see a man about a job for my wife?"
"You'll be back in the morning, I suppose?"
"Yes, if she doesn't get it."
The recruit complained to the sergeant that he'd gotten a splinter in his finger.
"You should have more sense," was the harsh comment, "than to scratch your head."
What is the penalty for bigamy?
Teacher: "In which of his battles was King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden slain?"
Pupil: "I'm pretty sure it was the last one."
Shortly after Thanksgiving someone asked littly Johnny to define the word appetite. He replied,
"When you're eating you're 'appy; and when you get through you're tight-that's appetite!"
"I wonder if that fat old girl is really trying to flirt with me?"
Companion, "I can easily find out by asking her, she's my wife."
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!
RSS & Feeds
The Spoof is proud to present all its stories as RSS Feeds.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!