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Iconic Hollywood sign saved by Heffner

Soft Porn Czar Hugh Hefner donates funds to save the sign overlooking Tinseltown with a caveat: a y was added making the new symbol of glittz and glamour: HOLLYWOODY!

written by Cuff, 27 April 2010
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Bambino Crime Family Jailed

Egg throwing stereo stealing crime syndicate headed by seven y.o. Hoody Wank jailed as precaution. Held until after the general election after which they will be released to terrorize us

written by Cuff, 22 April 2010
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Famous Brit Flees Extradition From Art Scandal

Art Museum Curator Mr. Bean has fled to Somalia in order to flee extradition in the robbery of the famous American Painting 'Whistler's Mother'.

written by Cuff, 22 April 2010
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Sarkozy Issues Compromise on Burkas

French President Nicolas Sarkozi bows to public scrutiny on issue of Muslim women covering their faces in public. Sarkozy says now only the ugly women must wear veils.

written by Cuff, 21 April 2010
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T-shirts we would love to see

'The Democrat Congress went on a 3 trillion dollar shopping spree and all I got was this T-shirt which was made in China'

written by Cuff, 21 April 2010
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New Fire Regulations

All public facilities are required to replace expensive CO2 extinguishers with the more cost effective 2litre Coke bottles. Pepsi files suit immediately.

written by Cuff, 21 April 2010
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Clegg Declares Love Affair with America is Over!

PM hopeful cites the sudden rise of world wide opinion of the US is a direct result of the ended affair. Obama agrees saying that Britain isn't bending over and asking to be spanked like a dog anymore

written by Cuff, 20 April 2010
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Dyslectic Geneticist Creates New Species

DR. Dumbshitski of Genome Society tried to emulate success of sheep-pig which tastes like pork but grows wool. However, the pig-sheep he developed is hairless, has a curly tail and tastes like crap.

written by Cuff, 20 April 2010
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Food Fight in School Cafeteria Escalates

Servers at Obama Elementary served cheese sandwiches in response to food fight to no avail. Now students must read 12,567 page Health Care Bill in order to be served.

written by Cuff, 20 April 2010
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Wayward Pussy Banned From all Pubs in UK

High court in UK upheld ruling of 'loose' woman banned from any establishment selling booze. If anyone has seen her please contact our US editors immediately we want her back home straightaway.

written by Cuff, 19 April 2010
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Children Watching Too Much Television

World Health Organization states that children under the age of three years old are prone to Attention Deficit Disorder if they…uh…if they….uh…well whatever they said don't do it.

written by Cuff, 19 April 2010
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Danny Glover Arrest Update

Famous actor took a union bullet for the French today in a protest against the Suit Company Sodexo. Claims the deplorable conditions of working 40 hours a week are inhuman.

written by Cuff, 18 April 2010
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Christina Applegate Engagement

Spoof writer Ti Cuff officially issues day of mourning on the announcement that Christina is no longer a free woman. Such pain and suffering has not occurred since Jessica Alba tied the noose knot.

written by Cuff, 18 April 2010
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Eight Grader Aces Spelling Bee

Brainiac Jedd Nooman won the world championship spelling contest and a 100,000 scholarship for correctly spelling the 'Iceland glacier volcano' question: Eyjafjallajokull

written by Cuff, 18 April 2010
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Alex Reid Gets Starring Role

The producers of the smash hit 'Kick Ass' have signed Alex Reid to play in the sequel about life as a celebrity husband. Film is titled 'Kicked Ass'.

written by Cuff, 17 April 2010
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Obama Legacy Watch

Obama announces his plan to reform the derivative market. Hires Mr. Peabody and Sherman to take the way-back machine and stop Bill Clinton from allowing derivatives in the first place.

written by Cuff, 16 April 2010
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Obama Legacy Watch

Obama announces New Deal adjusted for inflation. FDR put America to work by having one guy digging a ditch and another fill it back in. Obama plans same concept with tear-rebuild of foreclosed houses

written by Cuff, 16 April 2010
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Latest Obama Math Confusion

By eliminating NASA Moon landing plan and Mars expedition Obama's regime claims over 2,500 jobs will be created. These must be additional clerks added at the unemployment office.

written by Cuff, 16 April 2010
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Meteor Shower Responsible for Judge Crabby's Stupidity

Life partner for Wis. District Judge Crabby claims fireball that nearly destroyed their love nest encouraged her to declare Prayer Day unconstitutional. 'If God really existed we would be dead'.

written by Cuff, 15 April 2010
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New age definitions

Definition of the world's laziest man is one that meets and marries a pregnant woman.

written by Cuff, 15 April 2010
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Katie Price Pregnancy Update

Katie announces she will call her new son Handsome Stranger; named after the real father

written by Cuff, 15 April 2010
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Primark Pulls Boys Swim Trunks Off Shelves

In addition to the seven year old girls padded bras Primark is pulling the companion 'sausage stuffed' boys trunks from shelves citing fair is fair in the sandbox.

written by Cuff, 14 April 2010
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NHS Declares Recall on Organs

Any patient receiving a transplanted organ in the past six months must return it to the hospital it was received in order to comply with the donors' wishes. NHS apologizes for the inconvenience.

written by Cuff, 14 April 2010
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Polish Plane Crash Investigation

The tragic death of Lech Kaczynski in Russian airplane reveals mechanical flaw in the design. Not only were the hamsters that run the turbines malnourished but the rubber band was made in China

written by Cuff, 11 April 2010
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