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Obama cuts short India trip and beheads to Saudi after death of King Abdullah
Correction! And HEADS to Saudi after death of the King.....phew.
MI5 agents will testify in disguise at NY terror trial
Mostly Richard Nixon masks, Anna Nicole Smith-type breasts and Kim Kardashian butts...
King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is dead at 90
Doctors say he died of Wahabbist complications and a Jack Daniels diet.
Sick Toad operator gave cash, vacations to celebrate '420' court hears
Absolutely nothing to do with the notorious Silk Road dope peddling website, Your Honor. Completely different case.
Giant asteroid to zip past earth this weekend
Yeah, I know, probably cause mayhem in Aquarians' astrology charts - but then that's The Cosmos for you.
Drone carrying Mayor De Blasio crashes into parking lot
Correction! That should read '...carrying meth...' and not NYC's clean-living law abiding mayor.
Georgia High School basketball coach bites another coach's face
Says he accidentally mistook it for a double cheeseburger amid poor visibility during last week's match.
Measles outbreak at Disney theme parks, hundreds infested
Emergency respinders demand all visitors to the attraction first wade through a sheep dip to kill off any toxins...you have been warned!
Kids' dancing genitals video not 'smutty enough' for Swedes
However turnips and parsnips really loved it, apparently just the right mix of muck and filth.
Atomic scacremongers say we're two minutes closer to doomsday
Annual catastrophe prediction season off to yet another Global Warming frying start.
Hermaphrodite pussy to undergo gender reassignment surgery
Veterinarians will transplant Kitty's six inch whiskers from her bottom to their new home around her snout. Miaoo...
Paris Hilton hires $100,000 full-time nanny for new pooch Beau
Just goes to show the daft woman is barking mad
Teacher who had sex with student threatened victim with peanut-flavored donut
Silly cow ended up being charged with a salt
French intelligence stopped tracking Paris terrorist cell last year
Sounds like Inspector Clouseau is back!
Paris deli gunman borrowed Mom's wedding dress for jihadi vid
Long white dress probably didn't go down well in Moscow audiences where cross-dressers of all persuasions have just been banned from driving on mental grounds
Parents arrested after baby told to put gun in cop's mouth
Darn reality TV shows starting them so young these daze
'Nothing unreasonable about cop using stun gun on 76-year-old lawyer?'
Correction! That should read: 'Nothing unreasonable' about cop using stun gun on 76-year-old: lawyer. Glad that's that one cleared up.
La Dolce Latte star Anita Egg-Bug is dead
Tributes pore in for the RIP blonde whose movie debut Gorgon Zola was deemed too cheesy for French audiences
Democrats have enough votes to nod through Keystone Cops pipeline
The new facility would bus in replacement NYPD officers sacked by Bill de Blasio for mooning Hizzoner at recent funeeals
Pope Francis names diverse set of new criminals
No, wait, hold that headline! Maybe last word should be 'cardinals'!
Naked man broke into mansions, guzzled booze, despoiled hot tub
Forensic investigators say a number of floaters found in abused jacuzzis were all DNA tested and nailed the guy
Archaeologists locate possible site of Jesus's matrimonial home
Ancient lawyers' repo order found amid the Gethsemane rubble, looks like Herod pulled the Savior's mortgage arrangements
Boston Marathon bombing trial jury being sworn in
Anyone connected to pressure cooker manufacturing or sales has been barred on account of 'back burner politics' as pre-trial tensions continue to seethe
Lion-hunting cheerleader names hottest male hunter Leonardo di Caprio
The Hollywood actor sure has a thing about wild, feral pussy!
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